Monthly Archives for June 2015

Archives for June 2015

Straight Skinny, But Gay Fat.

straight skinny gay fatHere’s something you’ve probably heard: Someone referred to as “straight skinny but gay fat.”

This statement, of course, refers to the differing standards in appearance for straight and gay men. In other words, a few extra pounds on a straight guy isn’t a big deal. But in the gay world, it’s a different story altogether.

Now here’s something you probably haven’t heard: Among men who have eating disorders, 42% identify as gay.

When we hear the term “gay fat” in reference to the double standard in body image, the tendency is to laugh. It’s often used as a punch line. But I’m not laughing. Maybe the idea of “gay fat” wouldn’t bother me so much if it wasn’t killing people.

Here’s something else you probably haven’t heard: Without treatment, up to 20% of people with serious eating disorders die. With treatment, that number is still 2% – 3%. Eating disorders are deadly.

Eating disorders are a real problem in our community, and we’re dismissing it as a joke.

As I’ve mentioned, I was anorexic in middle school. Growing up overweight, I tried to take control of my situation by starving myself. It was easy to outsmart the doctors when they asked about my weight loss, and even easier to deceive my own family. In fact, to this day, my mother refuses to acknowledge my eating disorder.

The reality is, it’s not easy to talk about eating disorders. And that’s especially true for men. In a world that sees eating disorders as a problem for teenage girls trying to fit into prom dresses, it’s all of our jobs to decrease the stigma and be constructive with our words and actions.

When someone is referred to as straight skinny but gay fat, I’m not laughing. Because what I really hear in that statement is the struggle that all gay men have of looking in the mirror and seeing someone they love. And to me, that’s not a joke. And if it is, it’s a punchline that some of us are paying for with our lives.


4 Most Crucial Exercises of Davey Wavey’s Workout!

Barbell Curl 2_0In the world of fitness, not all exercises are created equally; some are exponentially more effective than others, assuming proper form and appropriate resistance. And as it turns out, there are four crucial exercises that form the backbone of my workout.
If you’re looking for a solid workout foundation, start here:

Barbell bench press.

Quite frankly, it’s not a chest day without bench pressing. Although you can do a similar chest press with dumbbells, the barbell allows you to work with more weight and get better results. Though the bench press works similar muscles as a push up, the ability to progressively increase resistance (i.e., add more weight) makes it more effective.

Barbell bicep curls.

Nothing works my arms like the barbell bicep curl. Similar to the bench press, using a barbell allows you to curl more weight than trying to balance dumbbells. Assuming proper form, more weight means better results. And even though you’ll need to include other exercises to work your triceps and forearms, barbell bicep curls are a great place to start.

Barbell squats.

Barbell squats are an awesome compound exercise that works your hamstrings, glutes, quadriceps and calves. In my opinion, there’s no single exercise that’s more effective for your lower body. While many people cut their squats short (it’s important to squat until your thighs are parallel with the floor), proper form produces great results – and it’s the best exercise for getting that bubble butt you’ve always wanted.

Dumbbell shoulder press.

When it comes to getting strong, broad shoulders, I’m a huge fan of the dumbbell shoulder press. Though I’ve experimented with the barbell shoulder press, I find the apparatus to be cumbersome and unavailable at most gyms. The dumbbell shoulder press does the trick.

Of course, lest we forget about abs, download my 5-part ab workout program for core-strengthening exercises that you can do at home. You can even enjoy one of the workouts free here.

What’s the most important exercise in your workout? Let me know in the comments below!

What Is Broscience?

thesituationWhat is broscience?

According to Urban Dictionary:

Broscience is the predominant brand of reasoning in bodybuilding circles where the anecdotal reports of jacked dudes are considered more credible than scientific research.

Need an example?

Bro, you gotta slam 40-60 grams of waxy maize plus 20 grams of BCAA within 7 seconds of finishing your last set of squat rack curls. Otherwise, you’ll go straight to catabolic.

Broscientists are everywhere, but are most likely in the free weight area of your gym, online bodybuilding forums or any local GNC. They’re smooth, fast talking and almost always have no idea what the fuck they’re talking about.

Broscience will teach you:

  1. Sleep less to increase testosterone. You’ll wake up angry and that will boost your testosterone.
  2. Flexibility is the ability to flex.
  3. Hammer curls get the girls. Pecs for sex. Trapezius for the sleaziest. And squats for thots.
  4. Peanut butter sticks to you and that’s how you put on weight.
  5. During your anabolic window, it’s important to take selfies or you’ll lose your gains.

As it turns out, exercise has been studied fairly extensively by the scientific community. If you have a question, there’s likely a corresponding, science-based study with an actual answer. And despite the popular narrative that says otherwise, there’s scientific agreement on many aspects of fitness.

So take the plunge. Say no to bro and put your reliance on science.

P.S. If you’re looking for a real, science-based plan to to increase muscle mass, download Size Matters: Davey Wavey’s Foolproof Guide to Building Muscle.



An Open Letter to Hot Straight Men at the Gym.

hot-gym-guy-liveliketomDear Straight Men,

I’m a gay guy. And because it’s basically a statistical certainty, there are probably other gay men like myself at your gym. We use the same weights, the same treadmills and, yes, even the same showers.

The truth is, I’m really not attracted to most of you. Just because I like men doesn’t mean that I like all men, and most straight guys are actually quite repulsive. No offense.

But every now and then, on a very rare occasion, a cute straight guy might catch my attention. I’m pretty good at not staring, but I might give him a quick glance or a one over. If I see him in the locker room, I just might muster up the courage to check him out shirtless.

Of course, most straight guys don’t care if a gay man checks them out at the gym. In fact, many might find it flattering. But there is a small but vocal minority of straight men that are deeply offended by a gay dude checking them out. These straight guys find it disgusting or upsetting or in poor taste.

To these deeply offended straight men, I would like to offer you a deal. This deal is being offered on behalf of myself and all gay men everywhere. We will stop checking you out. No glances. No looks. Nothing. Here’s the catch: That is, if you agree to stop checking out women. That’s right. We will stop if you agree to stop doing the very same thing to the women around you.

Because some women find your staring to be disgusting, upsetting and in poor taste.

Whether she’s doing a squat, running on the treadmill or stretching her legs, we won’t look at you if, and only if, you don’t look at her.

Fair is fair.

Davey Wavey & Gay Men

Want to get stronger and leaner without a gym membership? Download Davey Wavey’s Bootcamp Workout and use discount code “YouTube” to save 25% during checkout!

7 Reasons To NOT Skip The Gym Today.

hot personal trainerThinking about skipping the gym today? Don’t do it. Sure, we’re all tempted with a long list of excuses ranging from bad weather to new episodes of Orange Is The New Black. Appealing as they are, excuses are full of empty promises – and serve only to prevent you from reaching your health and fitness goals.

To that end, here are 7 reasons to get your workout on!

  1. You will feel even better. It’s no secret that working out boosts your mood and makes you feel better about yourself. It’s like an instant happiness kick. As they saying goes, “I regret that workout. Said no one, ever.”
  2. Your body really, really wants it. With more than 600 muscles and 360 joints, your body was built to move. You were born with two feet and two arms, not a chair attached to your ass. Give your body what it wants.
  3. You deserve it. Because working out provides so many awesome benefits, it allows you to be the best version of yourself. You deserve a healthy, happy and productive life – and going to the gym is a means to that end.
  4. It’s good for the people around you. When you are at your best, you have more to give – and you are able to make a bigger impact on the people around you. Being your best self elevates the rest of the world. And the world really needs that.
  5. It makes you stronger. Be Superman or Superwoman, or at least the person who people ask to open that bottle of ketchup. Working out builds stronger bodies, and stronger bodies allow us to push our boundaries and do things we never thought possible.
  6. You’re responsible for you. No one forces us to eat unhealthy foods or sit at home on our butts. Exercising is about taking responsibility for your life and holding yourself accountable for your health. Working out is one of the variables that’s within our control. This is your body and you decide what to do with it.
  7. That cute trainer might be working. Actually, I saw him this morning – so you better hurry up and get yourself to the gym before he goes home. He was looking really cute, too. With that tight tank top on and fitted mesh shorts. Go see for yourself!

What’s your reason for working out today? Share it in the comments below!

P.S. If you want to workout from home, that’s always an option! Just download my at-home bootcamp workout videos. Use discount code “youtube” to save 25% during checkout!

5 Secrets Gyms Don’t Want You To Know.

gym secretsAs someone who has worked out in more than a hundred different gyms, I’ve learned a thing or two about how they operate. While the majority of gym employees are good, trustworthy people, gyms are still looking to make a profit – sometimes, at your expense.

  1. The initiation fee can almost always be waived. When you join a new gym, many will try to charge a one-time initiation fee. It could range anywhere from fifty to a few hundred bucks. In most cases, this fee isn’t actually required; it’s just a way for gyms to make more money from you. Remember, the gym wants your business. You’re the one with the power. Tell the gym that you won’t pay the initiation fee, and that you won’t join unless they waive it. At the very least, they should be able to lower the fee significantly.
  2. The monthly membership fees are usually flexible. For some gyms, the monthly membership fee is set in stone. But for most, there’s room to negotiate. Joining a gym is a lot like buying a car. They’ll tell you a high number. You can come back with a lower number. And perhaps you’ll meet somewhere in the middle.
  3. Many gyms offer discounts. Sometimes, this discounts occur through your insurance plan or place of employment. Other times, gyms offer discounts for students, elderly individuals, models or even people listed on IMDB (yup, my gym gave me an IMDB discount!). But you need to ask.
  4. The “fitness assessment” is really a sales pitch for personal training. After joining, many gyms require some sort of fitness assessment wherein they’ll ask you about your goals, make you do a few push-ups and show you the equipment. In reality, this is almost always a way to up-sell you on personal training. Sometimes, trainers will you show particularly complicated exercises or question your workout plan so that you feel like you need their help. Personal training, of course, isn’t necessarily a bad thing. But know that the fitness assessment is merely marketing.
  5. Many gyms skimp on cleaning. Check out the rug at the front door. Is it covered in hair, dirt and crap from outside? That’s a good indication that the gym doesn’t prioritize cleanliness and is cutting corners to save money. In actuality, gyms are breeding grounds for nasty germs, so you’ll want a gym that’s clean and tidy. If the front door rug is clean, that’s a great start.

Do you have any other gym secrets? Share them in the comments below.

P.S. For five, 12-minute ab workouts that you can do at home or at the gym, download Davey Wavey’s Six Pack Program – and enjoy the benefits of a stronger core!


WTF: Half Of Gay Men Would Die For The Perfect Body.

perfect-male-bodyHow far would you go for the so-called perfect body? Diet and exercise? Plastic surgery? What about death?

According to one study, 48% of gay men would trade a year of their life for the perfect body. And a staggering 10% of those respondents would trade 11 years (or more!) if they could have that perfect body right now!

There’s a few reasons why we shouldn’t be surprised.

First, it’s not just gay men. A lot of straight people would die for the perfect body, too. A survey of British women ages 18 to 65 found that nearly one in three would trade a year of their life for a perfect body.

Second, we know that gay men are particularly dissatisfied with their bodies. Study after study has found that body dissatisfaction is highest in gay men. We are more dissatisfied with our bodies than straight men, lesbians or straight women. As such, it’s not shocking that more of us would die early for the perfect body.

Third, when it comes to body image, gay men really experience the perfect storm. Sure, coming out and being rejected by family and friends or experiencing discrimination may have some impact on the way we see ourselves – and our bodies. But lesbians experience a relatively high level of body satisfaction, so that doesn’t tell the complete story. And yes, gay culture is very body-centric; we see images of go-go boys in speedos or underwear models with six packs. But straight culture directs similar and even more pervasive imagery towards straight women. So why do gay men hate their bodies even more?

I don’t think gay men objectify men’s bodies any more than straight men objectify women’s bodies. But with gay men, we also happen to live in the same bodies that we objectify. If a straight guy likes a woman with big breasts, he’s not necessarily going to beat himself up for not having boobs. If a gay guy is attracted to pecs, he may become upset with himself for not having them. And therein lies the difference.

So what’s the lesson to be learned in all of this? When it comes to body image, gay men have a lot of work to do. But where there are great challenges, there are also great opportunities.

In the comments below, I’d love to hear your thoughts for learning to replace some of that body hate with love.

P.S. Recognizing that rebuilding and repairing the relationship with your body is the foundation for any true and lasting transformation, I worked with psychotherapist and spiritual weight release coach Diane Petrella to put together a fat loss program based on self-love. It’s very different, but very powerful… feel free to check it out.

Let’s Talk About PrEP.

img.phpThis is a blog about health and fitness. And when it comes to your health, being proactive against disease and affliction is of paramount importance.

And that’s why I want to talk about PrEP.

And before anyone else mentions it, no this is not a sponsored post. This is an honest and open conversation that our community needs to be having.

First things first, PrEP is short for “pre-exposure prophylaxis,” and it involves the practice of using drugs like Truvada to prevent HIV infection. For high risk communities (i.e., sexually active gay or bisexual men), some doctors are prescribing this treatment to reduce risk of HIV infection. When taken as recommended, studies show that it can be up to 99% effective.

So is PrEP right for you? That’s something that only you and your doctor can decide. There’s a lot to consider, including risk factors, side effects, the fact that PrEP doesn’t guard against other STDs and, unfortunately, price. Truvada is expensive (roughly $1,500 per month) but it can be covered by insurance and there is a co-pay assistance program.

It’s estimated that about 500,000 people in the United States are potentially good candidates for PrEP. But according to PBS New Hour:

The drug’s manufacturer, Gilead Sciences Inc., says that in reviewing records from about half of U.S. pharmacies that dispensed Truvada between January 1, 2012, and March 31, 2014, it found that only 3,253 people had started the PrEP regimen during that period.


HIV infections in the United States.

So why has PrEP been so slow to catch on?

There are probably a number of factors. For one, a lot of people don’t know about PrEP. It isn’t currently being actively marketed and, for whatever reasons, people don’t seem to be talking about it. There’s also a layer of stigma. I’ve heard PrEP referred to as the “slut pill.” People who proactively prioritize their health shouldn’t be shamed; they should be celebrated and emulated.

At a certain point, we need to recognize that condom campaigns and HIV education aren’t enough. HIV infections continue to rise. We need a new tool and PrEP could be part of the answer.

At the end of the day, gay and bisexual men are at high risk for HIV infection. And here is a treatment that dramatically cuts that risk. For me, it’s as simple as that.

What do you think about PrEP? Let me know in the comments below.


Biking Is The New Driving.


Me, biking my way through California!

Last week, I traveled from San Francisco to Los Angeles.

The trip is nothing new for me; I jump between the two cities several times each year. But this journey was different. Instead of a 55-minute flight, I completed the 545 mile, 7-day trek on a road bike.

Each year, more than 2,000 cyclists and hundreds of volunteers participate in the AIDS LifeCycle. This year, I was honored to participate in the event (which raised more than $16 million for the cause) to film an upcoming video for my YouTube channel.

As someone who never bikes, a few things were immediately apparent:

  • Bike seats are designed by the devil; my ass is still sore – and not in that good way
  • Butt butter is a very awesome thing
  • Being on a bike seems to make everything a little bit more beautiful

Think of your last trip through an airport. It probably wasn’t particularly enjoyable. Or think about the last time you got on a highway, or drove through some traffic. Compare that to the freedom and solitude of being on a bike, riding your way through nature.

happiness_chartBeyond enjoying nature, burning more calories (we burned 3,500+ calories per day) or moving more, biking has another benefit. Research shows that bikers and walkers enjoy their trips more than drivers. When it comes to biking and walking, 67% of people enjoy their trip; that number drops to 58% for drivers.

Of course, biking has its limitations. Driving and flying can obviously be more practical, and most people aren’t going to bike for 545 miles. But there are plenty of situations in all of our lives where we can trade four wheels for two… or, in some instances, just use our own two feet. Sure, it may take a little more time… but it’s worth the tradeoff.

Do you enjoy biking? Let me know in the comments below.

P.S. If you’re looking to burn calories or move more without leaving your home, try Davey Wavey’s Bootcamp Workout. You can download it now and get started today!