How Can I Get My Boyfriend to Exercise?

Hi Davey,

My husband of 2.5 years is extremely overweight. The problem is that he’s okay with it! He literally loves his belly and I’ve been begging him to workout. He keeps on telling me he will and when we talk about it he says the only reason he wants to lose weight is because I want him to – and other than that he’s perfectly happy with the way he is. What can I do to help him? I love him the way he is but he’s unhealthy and I can’t continue watching him harm himself.

This is a great question and I’m so glad that you asked it.

Motivation isn’t a science – and we’re still learning a lot about it. But we do know this: People only change when they’re ready. And changing because someone else wants you to change doesn’t tend to last.

It’s worth having an open, honest and non-judgmental conversation with your partner. Unless he’s able to see and understand the payoff of eating better and moving more, change is unlikely. If the conversation does prove fruitful, take advantage of the momentum by putting actual specifics, goals and details into writing.

Your boyfriend may have some anxiety about working out in a gym, so help ease him into exercise with the gift of personal training sessions. The trainer will help your partner learn proper techniques, posture and exercise fundamentals. He’ll also be able to put together a weekly workout routine.

Of course, exercise can happen outside the gym, too. Make a commitment to being more active… together. Instead of going to the movies, go for a walk. Or a hike. Pick up a sport, like tennis, that you can play together. There are lots of fun and exciting ways to increase your partner’s activity level – all while spending good quality time together.

Moreover, you can cook healthier meals. Instead of eating at restaurants, try some good and healthy home cooked meals. Making lots of little changes in your diet can add up in a big way over the course of months and years.

Your desire to help improve your boyfriend’s health comes from a good place. But, I like to say that it’s a lot easier to change ourselves than it is to change others. If you’re unable to change your boyfriend, are you able to change your perspective of the situation? Are you able to accept him fully as he is? It’s an important question to ask yourself – and not something that I can answer for you.

Good luck!

Love,
Davey

About Davey Wavey

Davey Wavey is a certified personal trainer and YouTube sensation with more than 250 million video views. For Davey's fitness tips and secrets, sign up for his free monthly newsletter - or download any of his affordable and effective workout programs.

Comments

  1. charley says:

    I’m all for personal training, but don’t waste your money. Someone without a desire and commitment will not benefit.

  2. You can’t love others if you don’t love yourself.

    I would evaluate your relationship and see if his weight is really the only problem. My guess is that he is getting fat because he is actually unhappy. And your wanting to change him isn’t going to make him any happier, and is actually a reflection of your own unhappiness.

    You both have some soul searching to do.

  3. Working out yourself is also a great way to motivate your partner into following similar patterns. Furthermore, couples workouts can be a great, and sexy, addition to the well being of your relationship, like in this video: http://screen.yahoo.com/bringing-sexy-to-your-workout-28273863.html

    From personal experience, sex post-workout is incredible, just saying. Use it as his motivation to hit the gym.

  4. LONG POST ALERT.
    All of this is very relevant to THIS POST, so please read. And no matter how you gained your love handles & spare tire one day the things in your life that are causing you to have them could kill you.

    also this will greatly effect your:
    S U C K I N G and F U C K I N G
    I would like to say, I am 46, 6’4″, 295lbs 3yr ago I weighed 375lbs(80lb LOSS).
    I gained this weight because I had been on disability for the last 14yrs of my life(before 2009.)I had lead a very lazy life during this time.
    I had been dealing with chronic depression and he thought working would help. When the eagle a check it becoming impossible to live(fiances)and I was sinking fast. My dad passed and left me everything but with it came a lot of debt. Before we had a combined income because for the last five years of his live he was slowly dying from renal failure brought on by long term use of Tylenol and Darvocet and I moved back home to take care of him.
    So I had no choice but to go back to work after he died, and it was good for me because my reasons for being on disability had nothing to do with my overall physical health, but because of severe chronic depression I had quit taking care of myself, I was always taking care of others, at home and work, so with good treatment and the psychical aspect of the work I was doing I had regained a lot of my strength(lots of work requiring heavy lifting using a lot of range of motion that was required). But that even had not helped me to lose weight, but the work handling freight at Walley world at first then putting up large containers of heavy food(lol, the thing that was killing me.) via work as stock clerk in the local hospital. So the weight came off quick at first then my coworkers convinced me that I really needed to change my eating habits if i wanted to get past this Plataea, so after taper off on my diet(in excess of 3500 calories a day) I lost the weight, all the time knowing I still needed more exercise, the diet changes started working, I avoided bread and deserts, ate more veggies and less fatty meats, I the 80lbs and lost a lot of my belly, but the reason I am writing such a long post(unintended) is that maybe someone out there will read my story and understand that I was beginning to suffer ill effects to my health from the excess weight and the reasons I had gained it, my back muscles were had became so weak that I injured my back doing the same heavy lifting that I had done all my life prior to going on disability. now I need to pick up an exercise routine centered on back, torso and I think I am okay on the my limbs.
    the point I am trying to make is that what started out as a medium size belly became a huge belly, along with looking like the Pillsbury Dough Boy, I developed hypertension, osteoarthritis in back and joints, an killed my body image, self confidence, an caused me to suffer even greater chronic depression. Along with ruining or killing my sex life, what there was of it, because of depressions and the drugs I had to take. in the four years after my dad passed I began to gain weight slowly, and before you know it I went from 245lbs to 375lbs and gaining fast and I had learned to accept being overweight and I have took the last three years losing weight and being miserable in the process.

    Now to address this spouses issue, it might help to get the husband to read this post, I had been classified morbidly obese. And caused me to lose two inches of penetration, during sex,my belly was causing this and also acting as a shock absorber for my pelvic thrusts, so to say losing a large part of my belly i regained most of my member, and thrust. My sex life has improved greatly, for one thing the arthritis wasn’t as bad and allowed more flexibility. Also at my heaviest weight it locked like me cock was disappearing, its still there it didn’t shrink away, but the increased fat on my pubs was beginning to make my shaft disappear. i’m 7in so the loss of two caused a lot of dissatisfaction for me and my boyfriend, that gorgeous little bottom boyfriend of mine, hes still not completely satisfied nor am I but it has helped immensely. I want to go balls deep and hammer that bottom hard, so work offers a exercise program(mo free weights ๐Ÿ™‚ ), for less than $10.00/month, so between the real stairs, long halls and exercise room maybe I can loos back down to my lightest weight of 25, or trade the fat for muscle, either way I want bigger tits than Davey’s. I love big chests(mens)and I want that myself. hey, husband your f u c k i n g will feel so much better than it is now.
    THE END

    • Davey, keep up the good work.
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