Twink Wanting to be a Stud.

Lean twink aspires to be a meaty stud.

Hey Davey,

I am 6’1 and 140 pounds. I can’t gain weight.

I’ve been working out forever and have even worked with a trainer for a month. While doing that, I got to 145 pounds in about 2 to 3 weeks, but I couldn’t really afford it. I feel like if I were bigger, I would have a better chance at asking out the bigger guys that I like so much. I would even be able to wear shorts for once.

Maybe I just need to appreciate what God gave me. What do you think?

From,
Alfred

Hey Alfred,

I’m going to give you a healthy dose of tough love.

First of all, you can gain weight. In fact, you did. While working with a trainer, you gained five pounds in just 2 – 3 weeks. At that rate, you could be 190 pounds in six months. You do have the ability to put on extra pounds – and, if you consume more calories than you burn, you certainly will.

Continue to follow the routine prescribed by your trainer. It likely included lots of strength training exercises to build muscles – and a few short sessions of heart-healthy cardio. Moreover, it probably meant eating – a lot.

If you’re a very thin guy, you might not end up looking like the hulk – but you certainly can put some meat on your bones.

As for asking out the bigger guys to which you’re attracted, exercise does build confidence. But reality check; if a guy is only going to give you a chance because of your muscles, then he’s probably not the man for you. If you want a stronger, more muscular build, then do it for you – not for some potential suitor.

I will also say this: What’s very attractive to everyone – including those bigger guys you like – is confidence. Even as you work to transform your body, I’d recommend owning what you’ve got. Put on those short shorts and flaunt what the good Lord gave you. Few things are sexier than a man who is comfortable in his own skin. You’ll drive men wild.

Love,
Davey

About Davey Wavey

Davey Wavey is a certified personal trainer and YouTube sensation with more than 100 million video views. For Davey's fitness tips and secrets, sign up for his free monthly newsletter - or download any of his affordable and effective workout programs.

Comments

  1. Skinny Bones says:

    I have a similar situation: I’m 5’11″ 120lbs. I’ve never been able to gain weight from eating alone, and I have no clue what exercises to start. I can’t find anything online dedicated to skinny guys trying to put on muscle. Everything seems to be for bigger guys trying to lose those extra pounds. Any advice for a guy who eats plenty, but just can’t put the weight on?

    • The reason why there isn’t information dedicated to building muscles for skinny guys is because all muscle building requires the same stuff. For gaining muscle, combine regular strength training with weights that actually challenge your muscles and an abundance(but not overabundance ha ha) of high quality calories from lean meat, eggs, whole grains, fruits, veggies, legumes, and low-fat dairy.

    • I was int he same boat as you. The advice in this column is sound. Where are you located? See if there is a quality and reputable gym in your area. I am in DC and trained at FIT Personal Training (www.fit-dc.com). I started out at 130 and had worked with other trainers before. I found my current trainer through a referral from a friend. I am now 145LBS and it has not been that long that I have been training with them (FIT). The bottom line is that you can gain the weight. The key is getting a good and knowledgeable trainer.

      It wasn’t until I found my current gym that I knew there was such a difference in trainers (I was unsure at first too, because it seemed the other clients at the gym were all trying to lose weight). It seems like at FIT, all of the trainers have actual degrees in fitness and a lot of experience training. The other gyms I went to had a mix of not well educated trainers. Doing the research and finding a trainer with the right credentials will make the difference in devising a plan and strategy for you. I am a believer.

  2. Count me as the one person not part of “everyone” bold.

  3. Hey SkinnyBones-

    Check out skinnyguysmanifesto.com It is a great blog about skinny guys and has a lot of posts about gaining weight and bulking up. There is a 2-part series by a certified trainer who went through the same problem. Check it out. I love it.
    http://www.skinnyguysmanifesto.com/2010/12/bulk-up-part-1.html

  4. I agree, be confident. I’m a bit overweight, though by no means fat. I have no problem losing my shirt in public. They either like me or they don’t. Their attitude to deal with. I consider skinny guys sexy as hell. Wish I still was…alas. But I’ll be attracted anyday to a guy who is confident in who he is, rather than someone trying to modify themselves because they think it meets other’s expectations of beauty.

  5. Thanks Mr. Wavey,

    I needed that too.

  6. I am a big muscle guy (6’1″, 210 lbs) and I am attracted to slim/”skinny” guys. I like the opposite of me. Now accepting all inquiries/applications. :)

  7. StevenBoo says:

    I have the same problem Alfred! I’m 5’7 and weigh 125. I used to be around 116 at my skinniest which really freaked me out. It’s been hard to gain weight since i’m a vegetarian and have a fast metabolism, but it is possible!

    And for the record there are many men that love our skinny selves, enjoy that you don’t have to worry about obesity while you can!

  8. In High school I was 6’5′ and 168. when the wind blew I flew. I played sports and got banged up. so the guys that have told you to weight train and eat good food, (protein) listen to them. Lots and lots of food all day long. Your trainer can and should help you. I’m 6’5″ and 230. keep up the good work and stay with it!

  9. i think it’s ok to be skinny but not if its malnutitioned looking .. try looking around more when you’re at the gym and you will notice ppl are all shapes and sizes .. just train hard .. eat as best as you can an find a balance .. if you have smaller bones you probably don’t want a huge bulk of meat on them .. muscles and shape is subtle so just work on it till you feel at your best .. I’ve pumped weights for over 10 years .. started at 120lbs and I’m now 135lbs to 140lbs .. at 5’7″ .. I’d like to see what 160lbs would look like on me but the amount of work and eating is just not something I can handle so I’m happy with where I’m at and what I can do .. that 6’2″ with 190lbs sure looks dreamy but he’s had a steady diet for a number of years that grew him that big so I know I can never be that let alone the knee surgery that would be required lol

  10. Same Problem i’m 178cm (no idea in ft.) and just 55Kg(no idea in lbs.) and i can’ gain weight working out.or eating like a pig… much calories doesn’t help :S

  11. Throughout the comments above I see a lot of guys say something like “I eat a ton but still can’t gain weight.” Consider tracking your nutrition intake. There are plenty of free sites around (I personally use DailyBurn). You may find out you aren’t eating as many calories as you thought and need to step it up. Protein shakes also are a great way to get a big does of calories, especially if mixed with milk.

    I used to be skinny and had trouble gaining muscle. When I started keeping track of my calorie intake/burn it became much easier for me to modify my diet and workouts to get the results I wanted.

    • I agree. I used to workout in college and never really saw results. This past year after graduating and getting an iPhone I have since downloaded myfitnesspal. It is a great app to help you keep track of your calories! You can scan the barcode and just that simply input how much you just ate. I also did more research on what I should be doing at the gym. With the better exercises and having better form, along with the actually keeping track of my calories, I gained 10 lbs in 6 weeks going from 5’10.75″ to 135 maintaining my leanness.

      My problem is that I have kind of plateaued in gaining weight. Do I have to eat even more now? I already feel like I devote much of the day to preparing food and eating…

      The main question I have is about being more lean in order to show off my abs. Do I have to do more cardio in order to burn that fat off? Or do I need to just reduce the amount of fat even more? I often read that in order to show your abs you need to use more calories than you eat in order to burn the fat off. It seems like if I’m doing this I won’t be gaining muscle weight… Please help clarify!!!!

  12. In terms of results, I wouldn’t be too focused on what you actually weigh. For my self, last time I checked (a while ago…), I was 140 lbs, and I am still 5’11″. I have been eating like a horse, and keeping up a steady gym regiment. I have also been using Davey’s method of 6-8 reps and working till fatigue. Now that I have got off topic, I will get to the point. I am just looking in the mirror, when I want to see my progress. I have noticed my frame getting larger, and much more definition. I wouldn’t be too concerned with your weight, just the results you can actually.

    Post-Script -
    Always play the cards you are dealt, and accentuate your current attributes.
    I love other skinny guys too!!!!

  13. Thanks everyone for the support. One thing I never mentioned was Ive been a long distance runner for over 10 years lol. Nobody every complains about my body. If anything, guys will tell me Im skinny but I have nothing but muscle. I have no problem taking my shirt off. I guess I just always wondered if the grass is really greener on the other side. Thanks everyone

  14. I’m the opposite way around, Trying to loose weight and build muscle :) It hasn’t been easy! and I can relate to the importance of building self confidence – It’s just as important as your physicality.

  15. Alfred, you state you can’t afford a trainer. You don’t need a trainer. Go to a track close to where you live and start training like a sprinter would train. In the unlikely case no other sprinter is training there to help you along, you can find lots of training manuals and advice online for free. All you will need to do in addition to your sprint training, is pushups and pullups, which you can do anywhere. When I started training, I was about your size and could not do a single pushup, so I started doing pushups holding the edge of the bathtub; it was easier that way because of the incline. Now I’m 215 lbs.

  16. If you find that you really can’t gain the weight there could be a physiological problem. But like Dave said, you gained weight. I however, do not gain weight. The doctor thinks there is a hormonal imbalance, possibly issues with the way my testosterone works. Good luck :)

  17. alfred, davey is right if that guy will like u because of ur muscle or sexy body then he isnt right guy and how if he do the same thing to another sexier guy? besides u learn to confident u also need to try to positive thinking and try to treat another ppl nice to build ur attitude. build good personality is the right way to charming any guys come to u.. Good Luck

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