Would You Join A Gay Gym?

Dear Davey,

I’m an openly gay man and I just moved to Los Angeles. I’m trying to decide which gym is best for me. One gym near me is pretty straight but the other is extremely gay. What are your thoughts on joining a gay gym? I need some guidance!


Man-in-sauna-via-ShutterstockHey Ben,

With a mixture of men, mirrors, saunas and the occasional jockstrap, I can’t help but think that all gyms are at least a little gay. Having said that, some gyms are certainly gayer than others – and there are no shortage of predominantly gay gyms in Los Angeles. I know this because I go to one of them.

There’s no simple answer to your question. In fact, it really depends what you’re looking for in your gym experience.

Pros / Cons of a Straight Gym

  • Pro: Distraction-free workout lets you focus more on exercise
  • Pro: More able to keep to yourself
  • Con: Some gays might feel less safe working out in a predominately straight environment – including signs of affection with a significant other

Pros / Cons of a Gay Gym

  • Pro: More social environment and may feel a sense of community
  • Pro/Con: This can be a good thing or a bad thing, but gay gyms tend to be very cruisey
  • Con: Might end up seeing your ex-boyfriend
  • Con: Might make other gym-goers more self-conscious about body, clothing, etc.

For me, the gayness of a gym isn’t a determining factor. The availability of equipment and vicinity to my house are my top priorities.

Regardless of which gym you choose, I do have one piece of advice. As I’ve said before, it’s much easier to find a good hookup than a good gym; don’t screw where you lift. You’ll see him again and again and again and forever be haunted by the ghosts of hookups past.

But I’d love to hear what you guys think. Would you join a gay gym? Let me know in the comments below.


P.S. If you are a female, I strongly recommend gay gyms. There are a number of women who attend my very gay gym and absolutely love it; they can wear whatever they want, no one hits on them and they don’t mind getting down, dirty and sweaty.

P.P.S. Rather skip the gym altogether and workout from home? Download Davey Wavey’s Bootcamp Workout; no equipment needed for awesome results.



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  1. I’m going to have to opt for the straight gym if I’m honest.
    As I’m currently in the process of losing weight, I’m not happy enough to be in an environment of people who I could potentially find attracted so I’d prefer to leave that until I’m much more body confident before I “show it off”.
    I think sometimes as gays we can get far too caught up in instant first impressions, from their hair to gym clothes, and even if someone is sweating too much. Straight gyms seem much more laid back about it all. Not quite so much “peacocking”.

    • I am the type of person that finds it attractive when I see other people bettering themselves and then see the final result :-). So what’s to say that your potential other won’t find it attractive that you’re losing weight and help you through it and make the transformation easier ?

  2. Davey makes some great points. I work out in a predominantly gay gym and it definitely motivates me to hit the gym harder and more frequently than if i were comparing myself to the guys/girls at the straight gym next door. That being said, sometimes my gym-crush is more of a distraction than a motivation. I definitely advise to keep your sex life and your gym life separate. Best to look and not touch in these situations.

  3. Michael Garza says:

    There is an equal amount of distraction from both “gay” and “straight” gyms. Both gay and straight men look at each other for either motivation and/or hooking up. Your pros and cons list should be for the general male population not a specific sexual orientation. A lot of guys feel intimidated by other guys in the gym especially when it comes to body image. When it comes down to it, you’re at the gym to workout, not hookup, gawk, or purposely intimidate other gym goers. I would rather jack off at home before going to the gym to avoid the temptation of hooking up with a regular gym goer then to fuck a guy that I would see constantly after. As far as clothing options go, honey I will wear what I legally can, TF I care about what other people think. I figure if you’re staring or gawking, then you’re jealous or bitter. But yes I agree with Davey, I am more interested in the gym hours and equipment then the type of people that attend. Ultimately Ben, figure out your top interests on why you want to join a gym and then find a gym that meets those needs.

  4. As an overweight gay man, I actually get more support in a straight gym. If I’m having trouble, someone will come over and help me out. If I look at them, they think I’m wanting a body like theirs or am trying to figure out how to use the equipment (because I obviously haven’t been in a gym for long!.. I’m fat). Whereas, if I go to a gay gym, ya.. the bodies might be nicer, but the attitude couldn’t be worse. I could literally die under a barbell and no one would care enough to call 911 unless they worked there.. and that would only be to get the fat ass guy out of their pristine gym because he was scaring the hotties off by his mere presence. Now.. If there were such a place as an accepting gay gym where people talked even to the fat and/or older people without treating them like lepers.. ya.. I’d go. But that’s fantasy.

  5. why wouldn’t i?

  6. Mason Parkin says:

    Remember, it’s your body, do what’s best for you.

    We live in a time where being “gay” is no longer frowned upon and I think that is an awesome step for man-kind. But joining a gym just because it is mostly gay or mostly straight seems a little childish to me. When I go to the gym I’m not worried about what other people think of me; if I’m too skinny or if I’m too fat, that’s the reason why I’m at the gym to better myself and I would like to assume that most men are like this as well.
    But if you really are concerned on which one is best for you, I would simply recommend doing a test run in both of the gyms to see which one you feel most comfortable, because at the end of the day you are the one is taking care of yourself, not some random stranger at the gym. If going to a gay gym makes you feel less self conscious about yourself then go ahead and go to that gym.

  7. Ian Collie says:

    Join a gay gym…NEVER! I enjoy the atmosphere of my gym and prefer it stay predominantly straight. Am I marking my territory? Possibly, I often admit, I do not want other gay men at my gym. The judgement, the gossip, the cruising. Sometimes gay men are easily comparable to deviants. Time and place however. $20 a night in a bathhouse seems better for anonymity than my somewhat pricey gym. Id like to stay token gay at my gym.


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