Davey,
Just left the doctor’s office. I’m 348lbs, HIV positive and feel like my life is smacking me in the face.
I don’t know how to eat though I can tell you I love food. I downloaded your program, any advise would help. Have to be honest though seems like it might be eaiser to step in front of a bus. My dad was a pastry chef I know what good pastry tastes like and now I’m supposed to eat cardboard? Like I said I need some help.
John
John,
Stepping in front of a bus might be easier – but it doesn’t mean that you don’t have the strength to transform yourself and your life. Becoming stronger and healthier is a challenge, but it’s also an opportunity – and should you choose to put energy and effort behind your intention, there is no doubt that you’ll produce real results.
As change first occurs on the inside, I’d invite you to build a stronger relationship with the body you currently have. Much progress can be made through forgiveness and gratitude. Write a letter of apology to your body; ask your body to forgive you for all the times you have neglected or abused it. Express gratitude for all the many important functions your body serves. Through both forgiveness and gratitude you’ll align yourself with real transformative power.
As you re-learn to love your body, both nutrition and exercise become much easier. Making decisions that honor your body feels very natural.
When I approach diet, I make the two following assumptions:
- No one wants to be hungry.
- No one wants to eat cardboard.
If your diet plan violates either assumption, it’s going to be difficult to maintain. Yes, you’ll have to create a calorie deficit (more calories out than in), but you don’t need to starve or eat distasteful foods. I’d encourage you to eat smarter. Make wiser choices. Discover all the colorful and tasty foods that are both nutritious and delicious. Contrary to popular belief, delicious is not synonymous with unhealthy; there are plenty of healthy choices that will leave you salivating. Lean meats, fresh produce and salads are just a few. And fear not – eating wiser isn’t about eliminating pastry. It’s just about eating less of it. As a general rule, try to eat healthy 80% of the time.
Beyond eating healthier, your body craves movement. And movement helps contribute to the calorie deficit that results in weight loss. It’s great that you’ve purchased my workout programs – but start small. Even doing a very small workout here – or just taking a few walks per week – will have a cumulative effect over time.
Your body’s transformation will be the sum total of little changes done over and over again. Make those little changes in your relationship with your body, in the foods that you eat and in the movement or exercise in which you engage.
You have the strength to create the transformation that you desire – but it’s up to you to muster it.
Love,
Davey
P.S. I want to leave you with a quote by Marianne Williamson that says it all:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
Well said Davey!
John,
Davey has been a huge encouragement to me. Although my reasons are a bit different, I had given up and as you said “standing in front of a bus” sounded like a great answer. Then one day, I saw Davey on a friend’s FB and went over to his page. I sent a message and was surprised that Davey himself responded. That alone showed me someone was passionate about what he does and cares about people. He was running a special and I bought it. I had gone on dates and been told “if you lost 30 lbs, you’d be hot”. After hearing about my weight so much, my self esteem was dead. Davey lifted me back to believing in myself and what I COULD DO. Like he said, we have the power inside us. It’s also nice to have his support and encouragement. Now I am working on ME and learning ot LOVE ME. And Davey is right, it really does help. Not only do you get rid of bad habits, you attract better people (getting rid of the bad ones) and that in itself is great. Another great thing Davey taught me was to appreciate one day at a time and set small goals to. And then reward myself for acheiving those goals. It’s now become a game for me. I wish you continued success and know that you have support. YOU CAN DO IT.
John:
I was just where you are about 10 months ago. Although I am not HIV+ I was 384 lbs. I went to the Doctor and he flat out told me I was going to die if I did not get this weight off. I had one of those “Oprah Aha! Moments” and from that point I have never wanted to get the weight off than I did them. I have tried things over the years and slipped back to my bad habits. For me Weight Watchers and exercise. It has not been an easy road but today as I type this I am 312 lbs. but the determination that I have this time has helped me to be successful.
So my advise to you is to do this for yourself because if you do it for your doctor or someone else it is not going to work. Like Davey suggests start out slow and just keep changing little things over time and adding more activity. Find a plan that you like and can handle and I know if you want this to happen then it will.
Good luck my friend!
I used to be 230 pounds. That may not sound like much to most people, but it is a lot when you’re supposed to be 160. I tried changing my diet, I ran and rode my bike. I did everything everyone told me to do. I did not lose a single pound until the day I answered the question “Why am I this way?” Until I understood how I got to be 230 pounds I could not change the way I was. I’ve seen so many people gain weight after they’ve lost so much because they did it with sheer force of will while never understanding why they were there in the first place. It becomes so much easier when you can get rid of that voice in your head telling you so many bad things.
I love that Marianne Williamson quote Davey! I first heard it in the movie “Akeelah and the Bee” and it so inspiring and so true!
I heard that quote when I reviewing politics and found a video that Nelson Mandela used it during his inauguration. I love it so much! It inspired me so much!
I used isagenix .. i lost a lot of lbs and then i started using it for the gym i used the proteins and energy drinks.. trust me isagenix works
OMG! That is my favorite quote ever! I love it and Live by it! Nothing more then that quote makes me keep going and showing others who they really are and meant to be and should be!
Hey look I was once 400plus pounds in my life and now I brought myself to 300lbs! I still aint small, but you know what I feel better about who I am and what I am about! When everything is all said and done! I will shine beyond anything that I have ever imagined. It take will power and motivation. If your friends are not there to motivate you, then it is time to find new ones that will not bring you down! A man once said that “you are most powerful force in the universe!” Because you are the only one that can change your mind, call on the Universe to help you out and do the things that which you do! I love myself and those that are around me, I am getting smaller and feeling great! One day I will be in power to govern the island to which I live on!
And on personal note, The Jock Workout Video does help, if you take it slow at first and get into the hang of it! It gave me a lot of energy after a while! Yes I am promoting his video because it really does help me out, Again I am 300lbs as I speak and even at 400lbs nothing stood in my way! I roped bridge across a river, I repelled down a 200ft tower, I go hiking in the mountains (every so often), I define the presets on what people think a big person cannot do!
John –
I truly admire your courage, asking for help and expressing a genuine desire to make the changes necessary to live a healthier life. Speaking from experience, I know it seems almost insurmountable, but make a few minor adjustments (do what Davey suggests and get out and walk a bit every day…make a few healthier substitutions in your diet…and then keep it up for a few days…a week…) you will be astounded how much better you feel after just a few small changes. That’s all the motivation I needed to make those small changes into big changes in my life. (And when it gets difficult or I slip in my fitness plan, the way I know I can feel serves as a constant reminder that it’s so worth the effort.)
Like you, achieving my weight-loss and fitness goals is still going to take a considerable amount of time and effort, but I’m in a much better place and most importantly, I’m heading in the right direction and I’ve learned to love and appreciate my own body so much more.
Bravo, my friend. Best wishes in your journey.
Love,
Brandon
I don’t know whether this will help John or not, but I have a friend who was once 384 pounds, about 15 years ago. He could have cut out the pizza, the doughnuts, the cakes, the sodas, the steaks, etc. then, but he didn’t. Now he is 600 pounds. He’s so heavy that his heart can barely keep him going. His knees have almost given out, because they weren’t designed to carry over 250 pounds each. He can only move around with the help of a walker, and taking just ten steps exhausts him. He has diabetes & very high blood pressure. There’s a substantial chance he won’t see his 60th birthday. WHY???? No pleasure gained from consumption of the excess food could possibly be worth the destruction that his excess weight is imposing on him. Just seeing what he is going through provides an incentive for me to minimize the carbs and maximize the salads and exercise. I hit my “scare point” at 192 and vowed never to let it go to 200 lbs. The result is that I cut out the sugar and starches and started working out with a weight set at home, with the result that I dropped 30 lbs in about six months and feel 100% better.
I loved the quote at the end of the article.
For the last 10 years of my life, I weighed over 275lbs. Finally, about a year ago, I hit 349 (I’m 6′ 4″) and decided that if I gained another pound, I couldn’t live with myself. I spent the next 6 months eating healthier and dropped about 30lbs. My Xmas present to myself last year, was a gym membership and a personal trainer. The first day I worked out, I passed out on the floor in less than 30 minutes and had the paramedics called on me. Now I’ve dropped over 100lbs in less than a year. While I still have 40lbs or so to go before I’ve reached my weight loss goal, I’ve become a poster child at my gym and have more girls (and boys, hehe) ask me out in a week than I ever had in 10 years. Getting started and changing my eating habits were by far the hardest, but once you see a little improvement, you’ll feel a LOT better about yourself and will do whatever it takes to keep the pounds coming off. Like everyone else said, you can do it!