When Friends & Family Stand in the Way of Fitness.

Tell me if this sounds familiar: You decide to make a huge, positive change in your life by becoming healthier through exercise and nutrition. Because your friends and family love and value you, you expect them to be supportive.

But they aren’t. Sometimes they say things about how you’ll fail – or other times they push you to cheat on your diet or skip the gym. What’s that all about? And how can you deal with it? I recorded a talky blog on the subject – check it out below (and let me know what you think in the comments):

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Davey Wavey is a certified personal trainer and YouTube sensation with more than 250 million video views. For Davey's fitness tips and secrets, sign up for his free monthly newsletter - or download any of his affordable and effective workout programs.


  1. Easiest way to say it. Brilliant.

  2. Your goals are yours. My older brother had his first heart attack at my age (38).

    Fuck em.

    Find like minded friends and family to work out with.

  3. You okay Davey? Other than the voice, you seem down. Maybe you’re just beat from your trip.

  4. Daniel Watters says:

    Never thought about it like that! You’re right! Good talky blog. Sorry about your voice – sounds a sexy though! Ha Ha. On a serious note though, are you ok? You do seem a little down. Hope you’re ok! Love you loads! xoxo

  5. Ive had family and friends that not as active or serous about their health as I am but you are right sometimes they try to make you stay home and not workoutor eat alot of unhealthy foods. i have changed their way of eating though, we have a family of diabetes, so it wasn’t that hard to change. I always ask what can you give up that really is unnecessary. We see other family members going through diabete problems and we don’t want to end up like that. I have helped my parents go walking more as well. The first hard step is the first step they don’t want to get up, they are tired, the have to work, no time. Excuses is what harms our body’s but I told them if I do it with them then they have to. I push them to work out becuase I want them to live as long as they can and as best as they can. Do you love the person? If you do then you want the best for them and what makes them happy for them. That is the question everyone needs to ask, when they feel someone could be influencing them to something not what one doesn’t feel right of doing.

  6. Thanks Davey.This hits home for me.I’m trying to book a reasonable flight from Greensboro, back to N.Y.over the weekend. I am so upset over my family’s negative reaction to my weight loss, gym activity, and strict diet,I do not think I will return for X mas -new years.Any one else have this happen to them???It’s taken 9 months to make these changes in my life.I feel so alone… Glenn

  7. This video was amazing! My mom tries to feed me meat everytime I see her and I have been vegetarian for over 3 years now. When I lost 40 lbs earlier this year all most people could say was “don’t loose too much weight”. Since then I funked out and gained back 20. This video and the comments some of you have made give me strength to continue “my” goals! Thank you! PS Glenn, I soooo hear you!

  8. One of the things I hear the most when I mention the gym or a diet change is “You don’t need to work out you are fine as you are, you are very slim you don’t want to waste away” or something along those lines. The thing that i have to remember is while I am fine and beautiful as I am, there is nothing wrong with wanting to be a better me.

  9. Davey, man you so hit it. I stumbled on this by accident and was amazed, simply because I have been thinking a lot about this very issue lately!

    People are funny; I was once 350+ lbs,now I’m 220, stronger than I ever thought possible, and able to do things that once I could only imagine. Total lifestyle transformation, and as you can imagine along with that have come a lot of adjustments, not only for myself, but for those around me. At first some were supportive, some sceptical, but as the results became more and more visible, suddenly everyone was onboard…for a time. As things have gone on I have found many of the people who were once supportive have started to be much less so. The encouraging words and, “you can do it” attitude, replaced by subtle defeatist messages, enticements to skip work outs and a “let’s have cake” attitude. Not from everyone of course, luckily for most of us in life we have those that support us no matter what crazy things we get into, but from enough people that the cycle is undeniable. I have seen this before when I have made big changes in life, but none having ever been quite so grand or noticeable, this one has been quite the learning experience. The message has been clear, `Good for you…you can stop now`

    What I have learned is exactly what you so insightfully described, it not about me, the changes I am making, or even whether I succeed or fail. It is about them; their own choices, their own feelings about what they believe they can or can`t do. So I carry on, taking the good from those who have it to give, and simply choose to ignore those who don`t. This kind of journey isn’t about them, it’s about you. It is for you, comes from you, and at the end of the day is really only about you. I’m not where I want to be yet, in fact I still have a long way to go, but now I know for certain I can get there from here, I simply have to choose it.

    Keep climbing

  10. Wow, I just stumbled upon this today. Thank you so much for this video. It reminds me of what a parent of a student told me: you can’t please all of the people all of the time.

    A year ago (Feb 23 is my anniversary date of changing my life for the better) I weighed 260 lbs. I was constantly teased by my family. My niece called me “Uncle Pillow” and my brother and sister-in-law had me in their cell phones under “Fatty Patty”. Of course this didn’t make me feel any better and continued to binge on food and eat the sadness of being so overweight. I finally decided to make a change.

    Since then, I’ve been going to the gym 6-7 days a week and eating 6 meals a day with a free day as desired. I’m just over 2 weeks from my goal and now I’m down to 166. I was always the chubby kid so it’s kind of empowering to weigh less at 30 than I did at 13. Still, the trouble continues. Now I’ve been told I’m too skinny, people ask me if I’m sick, and one has commented that I completely lost my ass. I seem to have lost two of my oldest friends over this. They no longer want to hang out or do anything we used to do. Of course, most of what we used to do revolved around food. I’m not asked out to social events with certain people as much either.

    It hurts to be excluded but I feel so much better. The loss in weight has not only helped me physically but mentally as well. I feel great eating such nutritious food. I had some ice cream last week and didn’t get any joy out of it at all. I’d rather just have a bowl of steamed broccoli or asparagus these days. I don’t have to eat myself silly to feel good. It’s all about what makes you happy. You shouldn’t have to live your life to please someone else. I’m just glad to see I’m not alone in my weight loss backlash.