Are You Afraid to Lose Weight?

Today’s guest post is by Davey Wavey’s good friend and spiritual weight release coach, Diane Petrella. Diane is also one of the contributors to The Davey Wavey Weight Loss Program.

psycho-screamDo you fear you’ll never reach your weight loss goal? Are you afraid you won’t maintain your weight even if you do? Do you feel uneasy when you think about how your life will change when you’re thin?

If you can relate, take heart. Fear is natural. When you learn to free yourself from fear’s grip, you confidently move forward and lose weight with ease and grace.

For many, fear is an uncomfortable yet familiar companion along their weight loss journey. Fear undermines your belief in yourself and stops you from having the life and body you want. When you believe your fears, it’s extremely hard to stay on track with your goals. But you can learn to give fear no power by replacing fear-based thoughts with thoughts of strength and determination.

For example, Jeannine wanted to be thinner but a fear of failing immobilized her. So whenever she thought about eating more nutritiously or exercising, one excuse after another appeared. When she looked below the surface, she realized her “excuses” protected her from feeling defeated. After all, if she didn’t start, she couldn’t fail. When she committed to challenge her fear, change began. It took time and effort, but Jeannine persistently used the strategy described below to shift her self-talk to words of encouragement and determination, and ultimately took charge of her weight-loss journey to reach her goal.

Reclaim Your Power

Your desire to have a thinner, fitter body is much more powerful than any fear you have, I promise. And your fears aren’t that unique or special either. Ask anyone who walks into an exercise class for the very first time or who attends a work function with lots of treats if fear ever tries to derail them. You bet it does. Change can feel scary!

But, you can access your power by thinking thoughts that support your success. Begin by making a conscious decision to no longer allow fear to control you. This decision helps you break the association in your mind between releasing weight and being afraid.

The first step is to recognize when fear arises. I’ve observed three types of fears that trigger anxiety and stress about losing weight. Can you relate to these?

1. Fears that stop you from getting started.

Sometimes the fear of failure immobilizes you from the get go. You fear repeating a pattern of disappointment and focus so much on past failures that a picture of defeat blocks your image of success. You don’t even try or you try halfheartedly. For example:

“I’ve failed before, I’m afraid I’ll fail again.”
“I’m just a hopeless case. I’m afraid I can’t do this.”
“Nothing’s worked in the past, I’m afraid this won’t be different.”

2. Fears that stall your progress.

As you become thinner, anxieties emerge regarding self-worth. The closer you get to your goal weight, the more vulnerable you feel because when you lose weight you also lose the emotional protection it provides. You stop moving forward. For example:

“I’m afraid once I’m thinner…
…I still won’t feel attractive,
…I still won’t find a boyfriend,
…I still won’t like myself.”

Becoming thinner can also trigger fear for those who experienced childhood sexual abuse. For example:

“I’m afraid when I lose weight men will find me attractive and that scares me.”

If you were sexually abused and have never received professional support, please consider doing so. Professional guidance helps you develop the inner resources to lose weight while feeling emotionally safe. To find a psychotherapist in your local area you can use this therapist finder tool at Psychology Today.

3. Fears that sabotage your success.

You’re close to reaching your goal weight, or you reach your goal weight and your mind fills with worries that you won’t keep the weight off. For example:

“I’m afraid I’ll gain back the weight and I’ll be disappointed again.”
“I’m afraid I don’t deserve this.”
“Who am I to be thin and attractive anyway?”

A Fear-Busting, Confidence-Building Strategy ??

Whether fear prevents you from starting to lose weight, blocks your progress during your journey, or challenges your confidence once you’ve reached your goal, here’s a process to take command of your thoughts so you move forward:

1. When a fear-filled thought enters your mind, simply notice it. Ground yourself by taking several deep breaths until you feel even a slight sense of relief.

2. Then, create emotional distance between you and fear by talking to it. For example, confidently say, “Oh, there you are again, fear.” This helps you acknowledge fear but not be ruled by it. Since fear also weakens your body’s energy, it helps to physically reposition your body in a confident stance. For example, pull your shoulders back and hold your head high.

3. Finally, affirm your desire to release weight by firmly saying, “No! I will not let myself be afraid. I am capable of doing this.” Repeat several times to deepen your resolve. You then use a fearful moment to strengthen rather than weaken you and your mind and body respond with positive, uplifting energy.

4. Whenever fear-filled thoughts come in, repeat steps 1-3 to deepen your confidence and belief in yourself.

Use this process as necessary. Some fears require additional strategies to target the root cause and release them completely, so seek out help with deeper self-growth work as needed. Be patient and keep encouraging yourself with confident, determined self-talk. As you develop the habit of replacing fear with thoughts of confidence and strength, you free yourself to create the healthy, vibrant body you want and deserve.

About DianePetrella

Diane Petrella, MSW is a psychotherapist and life coach. She offers her clients a spiritual approach to weight release and helps them develop a loving, respectful relationship with their bodies. Receive a free copy of Diane’s Seven Easy & Effortless Weight Loss Secrets by signing up for her monthly e-newsletter, Living Lightly, for spiritual insights and tips to release weight with confidence and love. To contact Diane visit www.dianepetrella.com.

Comments

  1. ““I’m afraid when I lose weight men will find me attractive and that scares me.””

    Yes, exactly this. Back in 2000 I started doing the Body-for-Life program and had a lot of success with it for the first 8 weeks… and then things got creepy. I was building muscle tissue, the fat was melting off, and some of my friends started telling me how uncomfortable they were because I was turning them on. People at work started to notice and even the straight guys were saying nice things. I didn’t know how to deal with the attention, stopped the program, went back to the “Body for Fat” program I’d been on, and have shot back up to 250 pounds. Single and dateless for the past 12 years, and I’m now nearing my 49th birthday. STILL not sure how to handle “friendly” attention, still afraid to get fit.

  2. I personally think it is a lot more than fear. It’s a complex set of emotions and psychological aspects that surround weight and weight loss issues. The hardest time for me was the first 6 months. I felt like my mind and body were constantly working against me losing weight. It was only through an absolute rigidity to my diet regimen that I was able to continue to lose weight. When I felt like my mind wanted to take over and beat me up, I just told myself not to worry because I have my plan of action and no matter what i was sticking to it. I’ve lost 300 pounds so far. Still a bit to go, but I know I’ll get there.

  3. I don’t think it is fear that stops a lot of people. There are a lot of excuses not to get in shape. I think the #1 reason is stress. Stress just makes you unmotivated and your always thinking of how to solve your problems that somehow starting an exercise routine always gets put on the backburner.

  4. My Weight is Not more as Height But Pate is increesing day by day . I am afraid to weight .

  5. There is a lot of truth to what is written here. Being a single mum, I got a lot of male attention when I lost weight through a system I bought after reading the review at http://dietplansreviewed.net/visual-impact-for-women-review/ and most of it was unwanted. I actually stopped the system for for a month or so but that made me feel worse than before. It wasn’t until I realised it was my OWN fear holding me back from looking the way I wanted to that I went back to the system and now feel happier than ever. Excellent article Dianne – will definitely be following any future articles you write!

  6. This is one of the renowned counseling and weight loss centers which is occupied in providing effective weight loss programs for the ones who want to lose weight directly and successfully.

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  8. Dariana Villegas says:

    Hey hey, The best results that I have ever had was with Red hot slim (just google it) Without a doubt the most incredible diet that I have ever tried.

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