Dear Davey: I’m Obese – MOTIVATE ME!

Dear Davey,

It’s a shame, really! I am a nurse and yet I am obese. I need all the help I can get. I am 5’6″ and 110kg (242 pounds). I am asking for your motivation and advice. I hope for a reply soon.

From,
Rowell

Dear Rowell,

Thanks for reaching out and recognizing that you need some help and support.

First of all, it’s not a shame that you are obese. In fact, shame is the last thing you need right now. Added negativity will do nothing but weigh you down mentally, spiritually and physiologically. In actuality, it’s inspiring and wonderful that you are taking the first step in your transformation.

Losing weight and cultivating a healthier lifestyle is a complex process that is different for everyone. It’s not as easy as eating certain foods and doing certain exercises. If it was, we’d all be walking around with 8% body fat. Releasing weight is a much deeper issue, and it’s requires using a different perspective than the one that gained it.

For some of us, we gain weight as a response to abuse. Some of us are afraid subconsciously to be attractive. Some of us eat to sooth ourselves or deal with stress. Overeating is almost always a symptom of something else, and so it’s important to explore the root causes. If you don’t treat the cause, the weight loss will not be sustainable.

Rowell, you are going to need more help and support than what I am able to offer in a single blog post. I’d recommend reaching out to a professional in your area, and connecting with a local support group – or an online community like Calorie Count.

You also asked about motivation. I could give you a pep talk about the importance of exercise, but truly the best – and most sustainable – motivation comes from within. Imagine how your life would be different at your idea weight. Visualize yourself doing all the things you’ve wanted to do. And think about all the health benefits (as a nurse, you don’t need me to remind you of those) that your new lifestyle will bring.

We only get one body for this human life of ours. Honoring our bodies with healthy choices is really an extension of honoring that life, and so I encourage you to take the initial steps in getting the support you need. And remember, all of us are rooting for you.

Love,
Davey

About Davey Wavey

Davey Wavey is a certified personal trainer and YouTube sensation with more than 250 million video views. For Davey's fitness tips and secrets, sign up for his free monthly newsletter - or download any of his affordable and effective workout programs.

Comments

  1. Brittney says:

    I too, am going to be starting this journey. Thanks for posting this Davey! Rowell, I wish you the best of luck on your journey.

  2. Thank you very much for sharing. The motivation has help me get up and make changes in my life, for the better.

  3. Is yoga a good type of excercize?

  4. Bruce Lang says:

    Rowell, maybe a couple comments from someone who has fought that battle most of his adult life might help. I am now 66 years old. About ten years or so ago, I finally arived at a place in my life where I accepted my body, overweight and all, for what it was. Now, however, my body has not been so accepting of me as it once was. I have chronic high blood pressure [medicated] and very high triglycerides, a fairly recent development. My doctor has put me on medication for that as well and I am making some progress in reducing my weight and increasing my activity level, moves the doctor says will also help improve my health.

    But now I am doing it, not for my appearance, since I have accepted that and no longer have issues with my body image. Now I am doing it for my health. The body I end up with will still be a body I like, but I want it to become a healthier body.

    Davey is correct. There is no shame in the body you have. It took me over fifty years to reach that acceptance. The changes I have made in my life are not because I am ashamed of my body. They are because I want to continue inhabiting my body for many years to come. Life has done well by me and I want to continue doing well with my life.

  5. roberto says:

    good lucky Rowell… just be possitive and everything will be ok…. we have to care our life and our body, remember our body is an instrument and we have to keep it… i wish you the better for you and all the people whom want to change them life..
    i have 1 month in process and i feel so happy and healthy n.n

  6. Obesity is multifactorial, i.e. it has many causes, so I’d like to know other things. Do you come from an obese family? Did you start to put on weight after an illness? Is there a family history of diabetes, high cholesterol, and cardiovascular disease (high blood pressure, heart attacks, strokes)? What’s your blood pressure like? Are you otherwise healthy? How old are you? Have you tried anything in the past? Did any of them work? Do you smoke?

    The first thing I’d do is send you to a weight-management clinic, where you’d be seen by a team of physicians including endocrinologists and surgeons, if you’re interested in stomach-reducing (bariatric) surgery. More importantly, you’d receive a consult from a nutritionist who would both educate you on food, and make you keep a food journal. Often making ourselves aware of what we eat allows to get a handle on our appetites.

    Each of us deals with nutrition differently, but the cave-man in all of us wants to turn food into fat. It’s how we, as a species, survived the Ice Age. “A thrifty genome in a calorically rich milieu” is the evolutionary biology paradigm which accounts for ‘metabolic syndrome’ or ‘syndrome X’, the deadly combinations of obesity, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and insulin-resistant ‘type 2’ or ‘adult’ diabetes.

    The last thing I’d like to say is that we live in a society that places a great premium on appearance. Most of us are not going to look like those guys on the cover of “Men’s Fitness”, which commodify masculinity the same way that lingerie ads have commodified femininity for decades. A healthy weight, normal blood pressure, and a good serum lipid profile should be your fitness goals. Remember that healthy people are always attractive.

  7. Exercise: start low, go slow. What I mean by that is I wouldn’t start running right away. At your present weight you’d be putting an awful lot of stress (torque) on your knees. Long walks, then maybe slow jogs.

    Work exercise into your day. Stairs yes, elevators no. If possible, bike to work. More and more people are doing it, but make sure you wear a helmet!

    Gyms: I’m a huge fan of elliptical treadmills because they combine stair-climbing with biking: they take a lot of the strain off the knees, actually strengthen the muscles around the knee, and work your quadriceps, gluts (butt muscles) and hamstrings, the body’s principal fat burning (‘slow-twitch’) muscles.

    Resistance training, i.e. lifting weights, is one of the best things you can do for weight loss. The more muscle you have the more fat you burn: muscle has a high metabolic rate. But again, don’t go out and try to bench 250 right away. Start with low weights to get your muscles and joints accustomed to being exercised. It would be a good idea to have a few sessions with a personal trainer as you start an exercise program. Many of the weight-management clinics mentioned in my earlier post work with gyms and certified trainers.

  8. Thank you Davey for posting this suggestion and thank you Rowell for sharing your concern about your health which many of us are afraid to. I too will be starting this journey soon, because it’s time to take some actions!

    Thank you for the website!

  9. Rowell

    I really wish you the best but motivation must come from with in, you can be sucssefull! My gosh man you are a nurse that is an impressive accomplishment, dont dispare! Look around you and note the folks who are suffering because they are over weght tell your self you dont want to be there. Last year about this time I got to 245 I think I even hit 250 once, and just had to tell my self this needs to stop, I started walking at least 30-45 mins each day, and now I found out I love to run,I didnt really start the running untill this November found his really neet app for my phone tracks my distance speed and location its a tool to set a goal and challenge your self. I am 5’10” and set my first goal to 199 not quite there yet but I am down to 202 now and still going. Set your self a goal dont get upset with your self if you slip, figure out how many cals a day you need to take in, my guess is about 1800-1900 and make sure your activity matches what you eat, Its just a math game, challenge your self. This interval training cardio thing works great, 199 is just a matter of time,I am aming for 170 next. I am with you friend I will remember you in a prayer good luck you can do this thing! Peace

  10. You can do it…I am a nurse and am 5’5″. I used to be 274 but have lost a total of 110# so I am down to 164…just 10 more lbs to go. And, no, I didn’t get surgery or take pills; just diet, exercise, and a ton of support. No more more HTN, DM, or anxiety. You can do it too and change your life forever. Just believe in yourself and do it for YOU!

    James, RN from Charlotte NC

    PS…it has taken me two years to lose it so it didn’t happen overnight.

  11. I’m going to lose weight, too! I’ve been putting it off anyway…..

  12. christopher says:

    Rowell-hope you take good advice-its not easy.but heres a start-with the weather warming up-if possible-try walking at least once per day-30 minutes-which should be about-1.5 miles.if you have a dog-do that as well.you will see positive results in a very short time.

  13. This will certainly help me. It sucks being a 16 year old boy who’s obese and has no boyfriend.

  14. Nicholas says:

    Rowell, I hope that the comments have helped you in every way you wished. I have started my weight reduction this week. I’m 32, stand at 5foot6 and weigh roughly 230 pounds. I have been stocky and overweight my entire life and I hate the way I had felt. As I sit back and think of all the things I have missed out of, it had sickened me. I gave myself a prayer to change the way I look and feel before my body gives out at an early age. It has been a week now and I personally believe that I am starting to feel better about myself. As you begin your journey, you will start to learn new things about yourself. Before you know it, you have reached your goal! I have read and studied Davey’s pages for weeks now to learn how to become a new person without losing my real self! I hope that I can come back here in about a year and say that I have done just what I have wanted to. Always keep your head held high and tell yourself you live for Peace & Love; as Davey puts it! Take care and best to you all! Peace, NICK!

  15. Hi Rowell. I am morbidly obese. I started a behaviour modification program in February 2012. I started with a BMI of 58, weighing in @ 140kg @ 1.60m height. The aim of the program is to start with changing behaviours associated with eating as well as getting psychological support. Goals are set according to weight so that you are not overwhelmed by the numbers. My first goal is to loose 10% of weight in 6 months (15kg) and to start “moving” as opposed to a full on exercise program. I weighed myself yesterday, now weigh 127kg took approx.14 weeks. I have 2kg more to go. It is a slow process but it is working very well. I have spent my entire life dieting, have seen my weight seesaw from one extreme to another. The most important thing I have learnt is that: (1) each 1 of us is unique, with our own life story.(2) we have all learnt or acquired our behaviours and attitudes toward food and eating. (3)to achieve a healthy weight you need a healthy lifestyle and to get help in sorting emotional and psychological issues because more often than not over-eating is in response to a emotional issue. Good luck on your journey to becoming healthier. My highlight of the week is that I have started wearing clothes that I havnt worn in 4 years.

  16. Hi Rowell. I am morbidly obese. I started a behaviour modification program in February 2012. I started with a BMI of 58, weighing in @ 140kg @ 1.60m height. The aim of the program is to start with changing behaviours associated with eating as well as getting psychological support. Goals are set according to weight so that you are not overwhelmed by the numbers. My first goal is to loose 10% of weight in 6 months (15kg) and to start “moving” as opposed to a full on exercise program. I weighed myself yesterday, now weigh 127kg took approx.14 weeks. I have 2kg more to go. It is a slow process but it is working very well. I have spent my entire life dieting, have seen my weight seesaw from one extreme to another. The most important thing I have learnt is that: (1) each 1 of us is unique, with our own life story.(2) we have all learnt or acquired our behaviours and attitudes toward food and eating. (3)to achieve a healthy weight you need a healthy lifestyle and to get help in sorting emotional and psychological issues because more often than not over-eating is in response to a emotional issue. Good luck on your journey to becoming healthier. My highlight of the week is that I have started wearing clothes that I haven’t worn in 4 years.