Inspiration

Fitness isn't just about what you do - it's how you think. Here's some gym-spiration to supercharge your workout.

5 Tips To Improve Body Confidence!

Today’s guest post is by Davey Wavey’s good friend and spiritual weight release coach, Diane Petrella. Diane is also one of the contributors to The Davey Wavey Weight Loss Program.

loveYou probably know how challenging summer can be when you’re worried about extra weight. Nothing like shorts and tank tops to trigger body insecurity, right? There is a solution and a way to embrace summer with confidence and joy. No, it’s not about changing your summer wardrobe into long-sleeve shirts and sweatpants. It’s about changing your mindset.

Here are my top 5 steps to getting body-confident, even in the hot weather:

1. Don’t Criticize… Apologize

Yes, you heard me… apologize. When you’re stuck in self-criticism about your heavy thighs or waist, you don’t need to deny how you feel. But you need to know how to stop. One way is to apologize to your body for speaking badly about it. As in any relationship, a heartfelt apology clears the air and helps you refocus. And the relationship you have with your body is as real as a relationship with a person. Use an apology to turn things around whenever you catch yourself in destructive thinking. Simply say to your body, “I’m sorry for talking about you this way.” Then do the best you can to end the negative self-talk and move on. Repeat as necessary.

2. Wear Clothes You Love

You deserve the best. So stop wearing clothes that feel uncomfortable or that you don’t like but only wear because they hide your body. (Plus, it can dampen your spirit to put on a dark, baggy sweater on a beautiful day, don’t you think?) Splurge a little on something you really love. It’s better to buy a few quality items you adore than 10 things that are “just okay” and happen to be on sale. And disregard what anyone says about what you “should” wear, especially to the beach or pool. Don’t force yourself to wear a bathing suit if you really don’t want to. If you feel more at ease in a t-shirt and shorts, go for it. Your comfort level—in clothes that make you feel good, too—is all that matters.

3. Compliment Others Generously

One of the best ways to shift attention away from your own body insecurity is to flatter someone else. If you like the blouse of the woman next to you at the check-out counter, tell her how pretty it is. If the cashier at the diner looks fabulous in her sundress, let her know. The more generously you give compliments instead of keeping your thoughts to yourself, the more love you give to the world… and the more that love comes back to you. Putting a smile on someone’s face keeps things in perspective because as you brighten their day, you brighten your own.

4. Pamper Yourself

Sometimes the hardest thing to do is the most important thing to do. While it’s never the wrong time to treat your body with love and respect, those moments when you feel especially insecure about your body are exactly when it needs your extra love and attention. Real body-confidence transformation can happen with just a small act of self-care. Maybe a gentle yoga class helps you feel more present in your body. Some love a leisurely hot tub soak or foot bath—while for others, booking a spa appointment for a facial or massage is in order. Even something as simple as a bright new lipstick, cute hair clip or hat can put a spring back in your step and raise that body confidence a few degrees.

5. Create your Self-Love List



I learned about the extraordinary educator, Marva Collins, in a positive psychology workshop. Marva founded a school in Chicago for disadvantaged students. These high-risk children excelled beyond anyone’s expectations and Marva received national recognition for her work.

So, what does this have to do with weight loss?

It’s simple. Marva understood the power of love. When her students misbehaved, Marva did not harshly discipline them. Instead, she instructed them to write a list of their positive qualities, from A to Z.

As they wrote “I am adorable, I am beautiful, I am courageous,…” Marva’s students flourished from her love-inspired approach.

Take a page from Marva’s notebook and create your own self-love list. Use her approach to improve your body confidence and overall self-worth. Write down all your wonderful qualities, from A to Z. (Yes, I know, there are some tough letters. Use a dictionary.) Start each sentence with “I am…”



Here are a few of mine:

“I am accepting of myself.”

“I am big-hearted.”

”I am confident.”



This isn’t just a “nice” exercise. This works because you train your mind and brain to scan for the positive. Do this regularly, and especially when feeling self-critical, to move beyond body insecurities and focus on what matters most.

If you dread summer activities and the more revealing clothes of hot weather, I invite you to try one or all of these steps and see if your mindset shifts. Experience what it’s like to allow your self-love and acceptance to rise… along with the temperature.

This Is What The Average Body Looks Like.

There’s no such thing as normal. But average is another cup of tea entirely. Using huge sets of available data, researchers have calculated the statistics for the average American 30-something male.

He’s 5′ 9″ tall and has a 39″ waist. His body mass index (BMI) is 29, just one short of the medical definition of obese. Based on the data, here’s what this average American male looks like:

USA-Frontmanmain.jpg

It’s no secret that the average American male is becoming increasingly round. Just 50 years ago, the obesity rate for men was just over 10%. Now, the obesity rate is around 30%. Yikes.

Of course, the average American male isn’t alone in the world. He has some buddies from other countries. Here’s what they look like and how they measure up:

Screen Shot 2013-10-09 at 11.14.15 AM

From left to right, it’s the US, Japan, Netherlands and France.

In Japan, the average BMI is 23.7. In the Netherlands, it’s 25.2. In France, 25.55.

The average American male, especially when compared to his counterparts, can serve as a reminder about the importance of exercise and nutrition. And who wants to be average, anyway? By moving more and eating smarter, you can certainly beat average – and dramatically improve the quality of your life.

What do you think of the average American male?

Goods Foods Vs. Bad Foods.

Basic CMYKWe all know that things like ice cream, pizza and French fries are unhealthy choices. From a nutritional standpoint, these foods have lots of cons. Foods like these are often loaded in calories, saturated fats, salt and/or added sugars.

Recently, I read the following quote by Elisa Zied, MS, RDN, CDN:

I don’t like saying there are good foods and bad foods – it’s so judgmental! I’m not saying French fries aren’t loaded with calories, fat and sodium, or ice cream isn’t rich in calories, fat and sugar, but saying they’re ‘bad’ foods invokes guilt on those who enjoy these comfort foods. Eating and enjoying food – even foods that aren’t the most nutritious – shouldn’t ever be done with guilt or shame. Eating should be one of the great pleasures of life! And if you learn to eat with pleasure, you may even feel more satisfied with less food.

When we eat with shame and guilt, these negative feelings can actually result in eating more unhealthy foods. That’s because many of us turn to food as a way to comfort and sooth through emotional eating. And as we eat even more of these unhealthy foods, we feel even more guilty – and the spiral of shame continues downward. It’s a cycle that needs to be stopped.

Moreover, labeling foods as good or bad isn’t doing you any favors. Dividing foods into categories of good and bad – and especially depriving yourself of those so-called bad foods – is the perfect way to trigger a binge. What you resist will always persist.

If you want a slice of cake, eat it. Enjoy it. Savor each bite.

But also pay attention to how your body feels afterwards. While healthy foods like salads, vegetables and fruit nourish our bodies and energize us, less healthy foods tend to make our bodies feel sluggish and unhappy. This is part of the eating experience, and when you tune in to it, it may make those unhealthy foods like ice cream, pizza and French fries a little less desirable.

If you love life (and I hope you do!), you must honor the vehicle through which you experience life. That vehicle is your body. When you look at your body in this way, the food we eat becomes more than just flavors. It’s also fuel. And because we want to keep our bodies in good working condition, it becomes easier to make food decisions that support your goals.

Are You Afraid to Lose Weight?

Today’s guest post is by Davey Wavey’s good friend and spiritual weight release coach, Diane Petrella. Diane is also one of the contributors to The Davey Wavey Weight Loss Program.

psycho-screamDo you fear you’ll never reach your weight loss goal? Are you afraid you won’t maintain your weight even if you do? Do you feel uneasy when you think about how your life will change when you’re thin?

If you can relate, take heart. Fear is natural. When you learn to free yourself from fear’s grip, you confidently move forward and lose weight with ease and grace.

For many, fear is an uncomfortable yet familiar companion along their weight loss journey. Fear undermines your belief in yourself and stops you from having the life and body you want. When you believe your fears, it’s extremely hard to stay on track with your goals. But you can learn to give fear no power by replacing fear-based thoughts with thoughts of strength and determination.

For example, Jeannine wanted to be thinner but a fear of failing immobilized her. So whenever she thought about eating more nutritiously or exercising, one excuse after another appeared. When she looked below the surface, she realized her “excuses” protected her from feeling defeated. After all, if she didn’t start, she couldn’t fail. When she committed to challenge her fear, change began. It took time and effort, but Jeannine persistently used the strategy described below to shift her self-talk to words of encouragement and determination, and ultimately took charge of her weight-loss journey to reach her goal.

Reclaim Your Power

Your desire to have a thinner, fitter body is much more powerful than any fear you have, I promise. And your fears aren’t that unique or special either. Ask anyone who walks into an exercise class for the very first time or who attends a work function with lots of treats if fear ever tries to derail them. You bet it does. Change can feel scary!

But, you can access your power by thinking thoughts that support your success. Begin by making a conscious decision to no longer allow fear to control you. This decision helps you break the association in your mind between releasing weight and being afraid.

The first step is to recognize when fear arises. I’ve observed three types of fears that trigger anxiety and stress about losing weight. Can you relate to these?

1. Fears that stop you from getting started.

Sometimes the fear of failure immobilizes you from the get go. You fear repeating a pattern of disappointment and focus so much on past failures that a picture of defeat blocks your image of success. You don’t even try or you try halfheartedly. For example:

“I’ve failed before, I’m afraid I’ll fail again.”
“I’m just a hopeless case. I’m afraid I can’t do this.”
“Nothing’s worked in the past, I’m afraid this won’t be different.”

2. Fears that stall your progress.

As you become thinner, anxieties emerge regarding self-worth. The closer you get to your goal weight, the more vulnerable you feel because when you lose weight you also lose the emotional protection it provides. You stop moving forward. For example:

“I’m afraid once I’m thinner…
…I still won’t feel attractive,
…I still won’t find a boyfriend,
…I still won’t like myself.”

Becoming thinner can also trigger fear for those who experienced childhood sexual abuse. For example:

“I’m afraid when I lose weight men will find me attractive and that scares me.”

If you were sexually abused and have never received professional support, please consider doing so. Professional guidance helps you develop the inner resources to lose weight while feeling emotionally safe. To find a psychotherapist in your local area you can use this therapist finder tool at Psychology Today.

3. Fears that sabotage your success.

You’re close to reaching your goal weight, or you reach your goal weight and your mind fills with worries that you won’t keep the weight off. For example:

“I’m afraid I’ll gain back the weight and I’ll be disappointed again.”
“I’m afraid I don’t deserve this.”
“Who am I to be thin and attractive anyway?”

A Fear-Busting, Confidence-Building Strategy 



Whether fear prevents you from starting to lose weight, blocks your progress during your journey, or challenges your confidence once you’ve reached your goal, here’s a process to take command of your thoughts so you move forward:

1. When a fear-filled thought enters your mind, simply notice it. Ground yourself by taking several deep breaths until you feel even a slight sense of relief.

2. Then, create emotional distance between you and fear by talking to it. For example, confidently say, “Oh, there you are again, fear.” This helps you acknowledge fear but not be ruled by it. Since fear also weakens your body’s energy, it helps to physically reposition your body in a confident stance. For example, pull your shoulders back and hold your head high.

3. Finally, affirm your desire to release weight by firmly saying, “No! I will not let myself be afraid. I am capable of doing this.” Repeat several times to deepen your resolve. You then use a fearful moment to strengthen rather than weaken you and your mind and body respond with positive, uplifting energy.

4. Whenever fear-filled thoughts come in, repeat steps 1-3 to deepen your confidence and belief in yourself.

Use this process as necessary. Some fears require additional strategies to target the root cause and release them completely, so seek out help with deeper self-growth work as needed. Be patient and keep encouraging yourself with confident, determined self-talk. As you develop the habit of replacing fear with thoughts of confidence and strength, you free yourself to create the healthy, vibrant body you want and deserve.

Brick Walls Are There For A Reason.

RandyPausch(500x340)At my crossfit gym in Los Angeles, there’s a great quote about brick walls. It references a now-famous speech by Randy Pausch, a professor from Carnegie Melon University who was given only a few months to live after being diagnosed with terminal cancer. Pausch gave a speech called “The Last Lecture” which went viral on YouTube.

The quote is as follows:

The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people.

And when we do want something badly enough – and when we go after it no matter what other people tell us and in spite of the obstacles we face – brick walls show us how strong we are. We don’t realize our strength until we’re put in a position that tests it.

By overcoming obstacles and realizing our goals, we have the opportunity to see what we’re really made of. We see our intrinsic greatness, which so many of us choose to hold dormant within.

Don’t be like the other people. Make choices that are bold and in alignment with your dreams and desires. Be strong. And let your greatness shine.