The Gay Bottom Diet.

cuddlingAlong with unicorns and leprechauns, the so-called “bottom diet” is always elusive.

I’ve been writing this blog for several years. And one of the most popular food-related questions that I get asked is about this very issue. In varying forms, the question goes something like this: What foods can I eat to ensure that I’ll be a clean bottom?

Seeing as this is a nutrition and fitness blog, I haven’t felt the need to address the issue. That is, until this morning when I came across an email from a young man in Vancouver:

I’m 21 and I pride myself as being a good bottom. That means being a clean bottom. Before I bottom, I generally avoid eating solid foods for 24-hours but was wondering if there are certain foods that I should eat more of or less of to be a better bottom?

I understand that sex doesn’t come with a manual. And that you can’t ask your mom or dad for bottoming advice. For a lot of us, gay intercourse is learned through trial and error. Lots of errors.

But in my experience there are a few things that I’ve come to learn. And here they are:

  1. No man is worth your health. Your body needs food, and starving yourself is depriving your body of the nutrients that it needs. It sacrifices your health and puts your fitness goals at risk. First and foremost, you need to treat your body with love and respect.
  2. Butt sex is shitty. The primary function of your anus and rectum is to expel feces. It’s great that we’re able to enlist the anus for a secondary, more pleasurable purpose – but know that poop can come with the territory. Your partner needs to understand this too, and thus have reasonable expectations.
  3. Being a good sex partner – top, bottom or otherwise – is about communication, respect, patience, consideration, understanding and fun. All of these things are far, far more important factors in having good sex.
  4. Using words like clean or dirty aren’t helpful. These words are loaded with shame, and they’re not conducive to a healthy and productive relationship with our bodies, with our partners or with sex in general.

Having said all of that, is there really a healthy, sustainable diet that can result in cleaner anal intercourse?

In browsing forums and discussion boards around bottoming, many commentators encourage eating more fiber. Bottoming aside, we know that 95% of Americans don’t get enough fiber – so this could be a worthwhile consideration. However, fiber comes in two forms.

Soluble fiber adds bulk to stools and is a great way for treating diarrhea. Soluble fiber also helps lower cholesterol and control blood sugar, and is found in oats, beans, potatoes, apples, mangos, berries, peaches and so on.

Insoluble fiber, on the other hand, is not digestible. It softens stools and makes diarrhea worse. It is found in the skins of fruit, the skins of beans, whole wheat, cereal products, brown rice, seeds, broccoli, spinach, carrots, tomatoes, lettuce and so on.

In other words, the type of fiber may greatly influence results. And having distinguished between the two fiber types, it’s also important to remember that foods like whole wheat, brown price, seeds and broccoli are all healthy, nourishing choices – and that they shouldn’t be avoided in your diet for the sake of sex.

At the end of the day, we are all very unique and we all process and digest foods in different ways. It’s unlikely that there’s really any magical solution to the so-called Bottom Diet. And maybe that’s a good thing. Sure, pre-intercourse preparation is important. But let’s keep our focus on what really matters: Ourselves, our partners and the connection we make.

And let’s remember that sometimes, shit happens.

P.S. If you have a fitness or nutrition question for Davey, send it to davey@daveywaveyfitness.com.

P.P.S. For an awesome at-home core workout, download Davey Wavey’s Six Pack Program and get started today.

 

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Comments

  1. Love this. We all experience it but nobody likes to talk about it :)

  2. Thanks, this will help me so much, want to be a better bottom for my fiancé x

    • After my experience with a few diets, I can firmly say that being vegan will ensure you are always clean. At the risk of grossing everyone out: even when I wipe, the tissue is clean. So there you have it. Clean eating=clean sex.

      • I’ve had totally the opposite experience. When I eat vegan and or vegetarian I have a hard time getting clean enough to bottom. If I eat meat, cheese and bread I often don’t even have to douche. In fact I’ve wondered how vegans bottom.

      • Everyone’s different. One needs to try different things to find what’s right for them.

        For me veganism and vegetarianism are really bad. Something more akin to the Paleo diet, or a body builder’s diet–meat and lots of fruits and veggies–work better. For me. YMMV!

        • Truth be told, not everyone has the same blood chemistry and reacts differently to the same foods than others. for example, I am not able to eat too many grains or dairy without issues. But, my ex-BF could eat them all day and never have an issue.

          If I regularly ate 35% meat, 15% carbs, 0%(minimal) grains and 50% fruits/vegetables(balancing 50/50% soluble/insoluble fiber contents), I would be right as rain with little to no preperation needed before sex.

          However, If my ex-BF did the same, he would be totally not able to bottom at all without a mess. We found that his chemistry was more attune with 5-10% meat, 30-35% carbs, 40% fruits/vegetables, and 20% grains.

          The major key that I found was trial and error with myself as my own body does not change with whom I am dating or married to, so why should my diet change with my relationship. It should not.

          If you find what is comfortably working for you, then keep with it. If a guy wants you to change your diet for him, then you need to re-evaluate your relationship before your diet. If he really cares, he will care for you as you are now. Adjusting your diet to be healthier is good, but not just to please someone else. You may not be with him forever, but you are with yourself for the rest of your life.

          Harm None, Do What Ye Will -Aether Drakengard

    • FloridaLifeFitCouple says:
    • FloridaLifeFitCouple says:
  3. I’m so glad you wrote this. So many gay men cannot CANNOT talk about this and that’s so stupid.

  4. 3 words: Phyllium. Husk. Powder.

  5. Carameldrop says:

    Thank you for speaking on this matter Davey. Since I started getting colonics I don’t have to starve myself like that anymore. Immediately after the colonic I head to a Smoothie King and I am good to go. The sex is much more reassuring going this route.

  6. Great article. I agree that no man is worth your health. But part of the article is wrong. Insoluble fiber adds bulk and soluble fiber makes poop softer.

    • AdamInFTL says:

      I think he was right about soluble fiber. Do a search again. Soluble fiber is found in oats, peas, beans, apples, citrus fruits, carrots, barley and psyllium. Insoluble fiber. This type of fiber promotes the movement of material through your digestive system and increases stool bulk, so it can be of benefit to those who struggle with constipation or irregular stools.

    • FloridaLifeFitCouple says:
  7. Question – porn films etc may show deep rimming. In addition, bareback shots often show the sub sucking his partners cock after he withdraws from his arse.
    So, do the subs have enemas/colonic irrigation before sex to ensure everything is clean ?

    • Don’t believe everything you see in the movies. Those scenes are shot over a couple of hours. The bottoms douche a couple of times but there is also cleanup done as needed during the shoot. Often the oral scenes are shot before the anal scenes. Clever editing completes the illusion. In real life it’s seldom as clean.

      • mmmm, not accurate. I am a porn star that does ATM and there are no breaks unless there is stuff on the dick. In fact, it is usual for us girls to do multiple ATM in one scene. MANY girls who do it LOVE ATM! Very Naughty Sex!

    • FloridaLifeFitCouple says:
  8. seriously guys, I don’t know about you Americans, but what about a good old douche before bottoming. Makes life so much easier and cleaner.

  9. I have read that flaxseed oil helps too.

  10. I have never bottomed as of yet , I felt I needed to save it for that special guy , call me crazy.
    In videos it seems some really get a lot of pleasure while some seem to be in pain.
    Are their any tips to share on how I can make my 1st time a successful pleasurable bottoming experience for both of us ?
    Any thing I need to do to practice ?
    Is the 1st time the least pleasurable or does it get easier and less painful ?
    I am all open ears here guys ;-)

    • Robbie – I didn’t come out until I was 45, and my gay experiences up to that point was all oral and touching. In the past two years, I have had the opportunity to experience a variety of gay sexual activities, including bottoming. Just based on my experience, and what I’ve heard from others:
      Know your own body!
      a. Despite all of us having very similar plumbing, there are still some surprising differences from one guy to the next. Penis size and shape are the most obvious: length, girth (i.e. how big around it is), “straight”ness (left or right curve), bend (does it point down or up when erect? yes, there are plenty of examples of both options out there!).
      b. When it comes to your interior, however, that’s where the mystery begins. No matter how many diagrams you study, there’s nothing quite like your own fingers to get to know yourself.
      c. Before doing so, recognize that following a healthy diet with appropriate levels of fiber (as mentioned in this article and various comments) will help to minimize your encounters with fecal matter, but you still may end of with brown fingertips. Just be clean … and lay or kneel on a towel so you don’t make a mess.
      d. Also: LUBE! I prefer silicone based varieties, since the water-based ones tend to dry up and become tacky/sticky. Regardless of the brand you use, don’t be afraid to use a lot. No need to have it dripping all over the place, but you want to minimize the friction at this point.
      e. And, since you’re going to be inserting them into an area with soft, sensitive tissue, give yourself a good manicure first. No need to get fancy and pay for a salon visit, but just make sure your nails are reasonably short and you don’t have any sharp edges to them or your cuticles.
      f. So, clean and clipped nails, a protected surface, plenty of lube available, and maybe a reference diagram to have some idea of what you’re exploring. Rub lube on your anus and finger (index or middle, whichever is most comfortable) and begin to slowly insert. Get used to the idea of the pressure, and the need to relax in order to allow yourself to insert further. Then you can progress to adding a second finger at the same time, and, after practice, maybe a third. You may not be able to go deep enough with just your fingers to be able to reach your prostate area, but it will be up under/behind the pubic area, below your bladder. This is the pleasure center for anal sex, and where you want him to be stimulating when you do progress to having a partner exploring you.
      g. Toys can be fun too, but make sure they are clean and reasonably sized. While the idea of a thick cock may excite (or frighten) you, you should start thin, probably nothing bigger around than 3 inches. Again, plenty of lube. There are a variety of things to try, in size, material, shape, and complexity. A simple dildo, anal beads, a butt plug, a vibrating toy … exploring for yourself can be fun, and will help you be more comfortable and ready to invite someone to join you.

      I hope this helps, and I’m open to any suggestions from others on there own experiences and advice!

      • Hi, Trey, I know it’s been a year since you posted this, but I am 46 and just came out three months ago. I have only had anal sex once and there were no problems. I am very anxious about moving into this new phase of my life and would love to visit with you more about your process.

    • FloridaLifeFitCouple says:
  11. The K boy says:

    Over Doubling or frequent colonics will spoil the natural bacterial flora of your colon… Not to mention the natural PH balance… This may disrupt your digestion… And also leave your colon dry and susceptible to injury… Good old psyllium husk.. And other fibrous foods are a good option to consider…

  12. The K boy says:

    Douching*

  13. No fiber — soluble or insoluble — is digestible. They’re alpha-galactocide bonds and humans — and every animal from and amoeba on up — lacks alpha-galactocidase, the enzyme that breaks down fiber into its component sugars. The difference between soluble and insoluble is simply a matter of size — soluble ones are smaller and can be solvated by water. All fibers exert an oncotic pressure and draw water into the gut. Soluble fibers complex with that water (are solvated) — think of eating a dry sponge — and add ‘bulk’ to the stool. Insoluble ones are, well, insoluble. They just draw in the water and give you the runs.

    I love salads but sometimes they go right through me!

    A teaspoon of psylium husks every day (avoid metamucil since it has sugar) will give you stools so clean you won’t need to wipe!

    Fiber does so many great things apart from making you a neat bottom and clean salad to toss. By complexing with bile acids in the gut it reduces cholesterol (bile is a cholesterol-derived detergent for emulsifying fats). Fiber also complexes with excess fats in out diet. More important that that, is it complexes with caustic by-products of digestion, especially meats, that can cause colorectal cancer. Lastly (and possible most important of all) is that it feeds the bacteria that line our colons (enteric flora) which also protect us from colorectal cancer. Fiber plus a pro-biotic supplement (or just yogurt) is a great combination!

    The downside to fiber is that while we can’t digest it, the bacteria in our colon have alpha-galactosidase and can. The by-product of their ‘fiber meal’ is gas, which is why fiber-rich foods like beans and broccoli make you fart like crazy. DO NOT use products like Beano, which promise to reduce gas from fiber-rich foods. Beano is alpha-galactosidase and will turn all that fiber into SUGAR! So much for your healthy meal!

    If you take a fiber supplement it’s important to wait at least an hour and a half before taking any vitamins or medicine. The fiber will complex with the medicine and vitamins just like it does with fats and bile and give you expensive poop.

  14. Consuming chia seeds daily to every other day works very well.

  15. Wether you’re a bottom or top or versa. Key point is to know your body.. There is no correct or incorrect way to not have a accident occur and both parties need too know that. Also wear a condom it saves you a lot of a mess.
    Test your body watch it closely see what food affect your digestive system, which ones have a quicker reaction. Also depends on what your body is use too. Some people are ok with fast foods others can’t even hold out their system for more than ten minutes.

    There is no correct or incorrect way every one is different.. Watch your bodies very closely. Pay attention. Also privately play with yourself if your a bottom invest in a toy and after you feel your clean play with your self a bit. Open your self up put it in as deep as you can gently and test your body. That way there it’s no surprises and you will be comfortable at the time of intimacy with whom ever you choose.

    Thanks.

  16. Thanks for all of your tips. I’m not sure what is best for me, but will be trying to find that good balance to make my first time memorable. :)

  17. I teaspoon each of psyllium fiber and milled flaxseed, twice per day dissolved in a glass of water, keeps me very clean regardless of what I eat. Like some have said, there is rarely even a need to wipe, although I do use the bidet just to be extra fresh. I enjoy a vegan diet, and my fecal matter has a much milder scent because of that too.

  18. Aww I can’t do this one. Why does it have to be a rap song?! I don’t like rap very much. I can’t understand much of the words and the sccrhating sound hurts my head. Can you please make another contest with a different type of music Ganz? Please? I might do it then, if its different music .Who else wishes it wasn’t rap? *~**Look to the west, its WestStar5**~*

  19. I think it’s fair to use ‘clean’ and ‘dirty’ – because I think there’s no excuse for not being ready. If you’re not ready to have sex, and you’re not a fan of scat – then you shouldn’t bottom. When I top, I like to think the guy has made an effort to be clean (of course there are mistakes, but there should be an effort to douche before, or at least take bx3 pills etc). If a guy doesn’t make the effort to be a considerate bottom, I’m not going near it.

    It’s like someone not cleaning under their foreskin – ‘oh, saying they stink like cheese isn’t helpful’… Well, actually – you CAN clean it, because naturally it will smell awful.

  20. You have helped my sex life by leaps and bounds with your blogs and video’s..lol
    There are lots of questions when trying something new or experimenting and who do you ask? It can be embarrassing.
    You have touched on a lot of topics and really have answered many questions and concerns.
    Thank you !

  21. If you are skinny guy you need to be doing a full body ectomorph workout. This means hitting all muscle groups each workout with compound exercises.

  22. I always douche if I want to be clean for anal sex. I notice I don’t have to douche as much if I eat mostly meat, dairy, and bread. If I eat a lot of veggies, they take longer to digest and sit in your colon longer. This is why your farts smell worse when you go vegetarian.

    If I stick to mostly a carnivorous diet the day or two before anal sex, I can eat more meals and still douche less and a lot faster. Cheers!

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