Quiz: Are You Beautiful?

maxresdefaultBeauty is a funny thing.

If you could ask our society to define beauty, you’d get a very narrow answer. It’s an answer that is depicted in magazines, advertisements and almost all the media that we regularly consume.

The thing is, beauty isn’t concrete. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Different societies and cultures have (and do) define beauty differently.

From the full-figured bodies with wide hips and body fat of the Renaissance Era to women with large feet in northern Indonesia, there’s really no consensus on beauty. In Thailand, I visited the Kayan tribe wherein women would wear thick metal rings to elongate their necks (and collapse their shoulders) as a sign of beauty.

And beauty has changed for men, too. From the lightly muscled and lean bodies of the Greeks and Roman statues to the feminizing Cumberland Corset of the 19th century, society’s definition of male beauty has evolved over time, shaped by culture, values and many whims.

Elsewhere you’ll see light skin, dark skin, tattooing, stretched earlobes or lips, scarring and just about every body type imaginable being included in some culture’s definition of beauty at some point in time.

The point is, when we see our society’s portrayal of beauty, it’s important to take a step back and see that definition for what it really is; it is shifting, arbitrary and totally subjective. We might not have long necks, big feet, tiny waists or six packs abs, but what does that matter? So rather than aspire to something which isn’t even real, let’s give ourselves permission to define beauty for ourselves.

And even if that definition isn’t accepted by the world around us, it’s important to recognize that it’s equally valid – and probably a lot healthier.

So, time for our pop quiz: Are you beautiful? You tell me.

The Best #Manass On Instagram.

manassLord, grab some water. You’re about to get thirsty.

There’s a new trend on Instagram called #manass. And it’s the best Christmas present that anyone could ask for. Well, except for world peace or a cure for cancer.

As it turns out, men are posting pictures of their backside all over Instagram. AND… Instagram is allowing it. I couldn’t be happier.

So here are a few of my favorite #manass pictures. Let me know which is your favorite in the comments below.

A photo posted by BEAST (@mrashleycain) on

Hiked Bear Creek, flashed bare cheeks. #mountainbabes #freethenipple

A photo posted by gus kenworthy (@guskenworthy) on

The neighbors won’t probably like it… Or yes…? Lol

A photo posted by Daniele (@danipallo) on

Viva com ousadia. O mundo pertence a quem se atreve!

A photo posted by Paulo Roberto Prestes Jr. (@pr_prestes) on

#sweatwithcharlie #humpday

A photo posted by Blake Bridges (@blakejamesbridges) on

The #100DaysOfFitness challenge may be behind me now but the journey continues. It’s incredible how the human body responds and transforms to even just 100 days of a consistent diet and exercise program. During the last 100 days your positive comments motivated me to push through and stay committed. I encourage all of you to experience for yourself how rewarding it is to set your own goals and get inspired by the results. You don’t have to be a fitness model or featured in the ESPN Body Issue to be proud of your physique. We all have what it takes to be the best version of ourselves we can be. Be dedicated, be passionate and be relentless in the pursuit of your dreams. Shortly, you will look back at where you started and be astounded at how far you’ve come… and you might just be inspired enough to post a naked picture of yourself on Instagram. ✌ #Day100

A photo posted by Ashley Parker Angel (@ashley_parker_angel) on

Happy #humpday

A photo posted by Colby Melvin (@colbymelvin) on

As long as you know who you belong to ✨

A photo posted by John Steel (@jsteel) on

The sexy @firstmate_blake posing with my teddy bear! Shot by me for @helixstudios

A photo posted by AJ Ford (@ajford93) on

I’m A Gay Man And I Eat Bread.

IMG_2101I’m a gay man, and I eat bread.

This isn’t a confession. This isn’t an admission of guilt. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. I eat bread. I eat carbs. And so can you.

Years ago, I was getting dinner with some gay friends. Something went wrong with our order and the kitchen brought us a complimentary bowl of lo mein noodles. The gaggle of gay men laughed nervously, as though a Trojan horse had somehow made its way into our company.

“No one is going to eat that,” they told the confused waiter.

But they were wrong. I ate it. Because it was lo mein, and lo mein is fucking good.

And the only thing better than lo mein, is free lo mein.

Of course, this story isn’t unique. It has unfolded, in one variation or another, countless times at the tables – and in the minds – of gay men everywhere.

We all know that foods like bread, pasta and noodles contain carbohydrates. It’s a commonly held belief that carbs make you fat, and that being fat is a terrible thing. Both of these assumptions are inaccurate.

As it turns out, we need carbohydrates for proper bodily functions. The USDA recommends that 45% – 65% of our calories come from carbohydrates because:

  • Carbs are the body’s main fuel source.
  • Carbs are needed for the central nervous system, the kidneys, the brain and muscles (including your heart) to function properly.
  • Carbs are important to intestinal health and waste elimination.

When you go to the gym, it’s carbohydrates that allow you to power through your workout and that fuel your results. When you’re studying for a test, it’s carbohydrates that help you focus. Without carbs, fatigue, constipation and even ketosis can result.

In other words, carbohydrates are really, really important. Carbs don’t make you fat; they make you healthy (especially when you opt for complex carbohydrates).

Liberate yourself from the prison of carb-free life. Eat bread. Have an occasional bowl of lo mein noddles. Be healthy. Most importantly, enjoy life.

Myth: Healthy Outside = Healthy Inside?

Hey Davey,

I’m an 18 year old guy and I eat pretty much whatever I want. My diet consists mostly of chips, pizza, soda and other crappy food. Even though I have such a bad diet, my body looks great. I have a six pack and look really athletic. Do I really need to change my diet if I already look good?


sixpackHey Ben,

Congratulations! You are one of those people who is blessed with a high metabolism and good genetics.

But keep in mind, what’s happening on the outside is really only part of the equation. While many people eat smart and work out to look a certain way, the best benefits of a healthy lifestyle happen on the inside. And just because someone looks healthy on the outside doesn’t mean they are healthy on the inside.

Decades ago, autopsies for U.S. military personal killed in the Korean and Vietnam wars revealed that many of these bootcamp graduates had plaque and fatty deposits in their arteries. Despite looking healthy and fit on the outside, many of these young people were severely unhealthy on the inside. On the outside, you might see an athletic 20 year-old man. But on the inside, his arteries looked like those of an overweight, 50 year-old heart attack victim.

Yes, a healthy lifestyle of eating smarter and moving more will transform your body. But transforming your body is about more than just your outward appearance. It’s like the difference between getting a car wash or a tune-up. If you want your car to be in good working condition, you need to maintain what’s under the hood! The same goes for your body.

But fear not: Having a healthy lifestyle and improving your diet isn’t difficult. And though it might not include a whole lot of chips or soda, it will include plenty of delicious foods that will energize and invigorate your body! If you need help or guidance, download Davey Wavey’s Insanely Easy Guide to Eating Smarter. It will give you all the tools you need for a complete transformation.

I hope that helps!


Why I’m A Gay Man Who Doesn’t Drink Alcohol.

bartender_161951Being gay and drinking alcohol go together like Mary Kate and Ashley. Or so most people think.

I’m a gay man and I’ve never had a drink. When I was a young boy, my father gave me a sip of his beer. But that’s it.

And when I share this information, other gay people are usually dumbfounded. And that’s because so much of gay culture – from brunch (which everyone knows is the gayest meal of the week) to pride and parties – centers around the consumption of alcohol. Alcohol has become a backbone of our community. In fact, the modern gay rights movement even started in a bar!

Of course, straight people drink, too. But gays out-drink our straight counterparts by some 16%.

And I get it. It’s easy to see how growing up in a homophobic or traumatic environment could increase the likelihood that someone might seek to reduce their stress through alcohol consumption or even alcohol abuse. The dots are easy to connect. But instead of being an opportunity for introspection and self growth, the conversation around alcohol consumption is often reserved for punchlines and jokes.

When I was around 14, my grandfather made me promise him that I wouldn’t drink. It had nothing to do with me being gay. Instead, it was because his father was alcoholic – and my grandfather didn’t want me to follow in his footsteps. Considering that genes are responsible for about half the risk of alcoholism, I understand my grandfather’s motivation. And for me, the decision not to drink was a simple as keeping a promise to someone that I love.

Many sober prides and festivities later, I’ve kept my promise. And though it was never my intent, I’ve stumbled into enjoying the benefits of sobriety. With the average American spending 1% of their income on alcohol, my wallet has benefited.  With alcohol hindering muscle growth and function, my body has benefited. And with excessive alcohol consumption leading to a whole slew of problems including high blood pressure, heart disease, stroke, liver disease, colon cancer and many more, my health has benefited.

I know the benefits of sobriety because I live them. But from the outside looking in, I can see how the occasional drink during dinner might be nice. But I also can’t help but wonder if alcohol is really deserving of the throne we’ve placed it on? What has it really done for us as a community or as individuals? And are those benefits really worth the price we have paid (and continue to pay) for making it so central to our culture?

I don’t have those answers. But maybe you do. In the comments below, let me know.



I’m 11 And Want To Diet.

Hi Davey,

My name is Carter and I’m 11 years old. I think that I’m maybe gay or bi. I think that I’m overweight and want to have a boyfriend some day. I want people to like me. What can I do to diet and be more hot?



Even as grown ups, it can be difficult to find the right words to answer a question like yours.

Discovering whether you like boys or girls or both (or neither!) is a real adventure. It’s going to be a journey that’s sometimes confusing, sometimes scary but always exciting. You have a very long time to figure out who you’re attracted to (many of us adults still don’t know!) so there’s no rush.

As an 11 year old, your body is still growing and developing. While that’s happening, you need a whole bunch of food to make sure it keeps growing properly. If you start skipping meals or eating only certain foods, you might actually hurt your body or your health.

If you really feel like you are overweight, you can ask the doctor about it during your next checkup. If the doctor is concerned, then he or she will help you gain weight more slowly or help you maintain your current weight by changing some of the foods you eat or recommending more time outside or playing sports.

When it comes to having a boyfriend (or girlfriend) down the road, the most important thing is finding someone who loves and celebrates you for who you are. And because you sound like a very special person, I have no doubt that you’ll always be surrounded in love.

I also think there’s an important lesson for us grown ups. When I read your question, I couldn’t help but ask myself if this is really the world that we’re leaving to the next generation? And it’s a reminder that we need to do our part to ensure that the world – and our community, in particular – values people for the awesome, unique and beautiful human beings that we all are.

Carter, thank you for your email and I hope this will give you some answers.


Help: I Get Hard In The Gym Shower!

Dear Davey,

I need your help with something really embarrassing. Because of my work schedule, I need to shower at the gym. My gym has one big open shower for all the men to use. The problem is, I often get hard taking a shower even if I’m not attracted to the other guys. I don’t know what to do!



men94showerHey Luke,

Thank you for the very honest question.

Much like you, I have a penis. And also like you, that penis sometimes gets hard. The reasons for this vary, but it’s a pretty long list and it sometimes happens during inopportune moments. And yes, it’s definitely happened in a communal shower.

It’s interesting that the simple act of getting a boner can elicit such embarrassing and shameful feelings. Especially when getting a boner is often involuntary and a very standard part of the male experience. I sleep. I breathe. I eat. I shit. And sometimes I get hard. When you strip away the layers of guilt, there’s nothing really notable about a boner.

You’re not the first guy to get hard in a shower and you’re not the last. Because most of the people in the communal shower will likely have a functioning penis, they’ll probably understand your predicament. If not, that’s their issue and not yours; don’t take on their baggage.

When it comes to sexual orientation, I’m not sure how you identify. But being a gay man (like myself) in a communal shower with a raging boner adds another layer to the situation. But the truth is, boners don’t imply sexual attraction. Sometimes, they just happen. And even if you are sexually attracted to the other guys in the shower, most would probably be flattered. If they’re not flattered, hopefully they realize that boners aren’t dangerous – and that they’d probably be doing the exact same thing if women were around.

The bottom line is this: Boners just aren’t a big deal. No pun intended.


P.S. Of course, you can always avoid the shower altogether by working out at home with Davey Wavey’s Bootcamp Workout! It includes three instructional videos that you can use without any gym equipment!

How To Look Good Naked.

if-real-men-modelled-underwear_5The other day, I was walking down the street and saw a gym advertisement proclaiming: “Look good naked.”

As someone who has a line of fitness programs, I spend a lot of time thinking about messaging – and how I want to market my programs. I’ve made the personal decision not to pedal my programs based on fears or insecurities. Even my “six pack program” is positioned on the benefits of a strong core rather than aesthetics. All of us have enough insecurities; I don’t need to market my products in a way that feeds them.

Perhaps for these reasons, the concept of looking good naked stuck with me. What does looking good naked even mean?

I look good naked. And it’s not because my body is shaped a certain way, because I have a narrow waist or large pecs. I look good naked because we all do.

In a world that tells us otherwise, remember that each of us has the power to define what looking good or being beautiful really means. Discovering your own definition of beauty means taking cues not from the society around us but the heart within you. Looking good naked isn’t about a flat belly or a tight ass. It’s about recognizing your own value and honoring all that you bring to the table. And, as it turns out, you bring a lot to the table. We all do.

You don’t need a gym membership to look good naked. You don’t need to be a certain size or to lose weight. You are beautiful because it’s your birthright. And if you could – even for a moment – see yourself the way the universe, God, or your soul (or whatever label you use) sees you, you’d absolutely agree.

You look good naked.

Gay Men & Aging: A Different Approach!

HIV-and-aging-717445-300x155On my 26th birthday, people around me started reminding me that I’m in my late 20s. Apparently, this is a bad thing. Because then you’re 30, and then 40 and then 50 and so on. It’s basically, “Happy 26th Birthday. You’re dead.”

I know that a lot of us (and gay men, in particular) fear getting old. In a society and culture that worships youth and wrinkle-free skin, the inevitable effects of aging can challenge us and make us feel less desirable. Sometimes even invisible.

But I think we have it all wrong. Growing old isn’t a disease to be fought. It’s not a plague or a poison.

On the contrary, growing old is a gift. And it’s a gift that too many people in our community haven’t been able to experience. I think back to the AIDS epidemic of the 80s and 90s, and how many gay men lost their battles so early in life. I think about the fact that gay, lesbian and bisexual youth are 4x more likely to attempt suicide and that nearly 50% of transgender people have seriously complemented suicide.

In this way, growing old is something to honor and celebrate. Sure, we might get grey hairs and saggy tits, but we’re here goddamn it.

Of course, this isn’t an excuse to stop taking care of ourselves. On the contrary, staying healthy and active helps keep these bodies in working condition. As we age, let’s do so with energy, good health and minimized risk for chronic disease and ailments. Let’s make sure we get the most out of our years.

Anyway, here’s to becoming a bunch of old farts.

Should I Wear A Jockstrap To The Gym?

Dear Davey,

I’m new to the gym and, quite frankly, I need all the help that I can get. When I was a young guy in sports, I remember that a lot of my teammates would wear jockstraps. Since I’m working out again, is there any advantage to exercising in a jockstrap?


598652510_tpHey Bill,

I couldn’t be more excited for an excuse to talk about jockstraps!

But first, let’s have an educational moment.

As best I can tell, jockstraps were invented in the mid 1870s by a Chicago sporting goods company. They were popular among the bicycle jockeys that rode the cobblestone streets of Boston. With an open backside and a pouch in the front, jockstraps provided an element of safety and support, and kept things nicely in place for the jockeys. Over the years, jockstraps became more popular with athletes and were often fitted with a cup for extra protection.

In essence, men wear jockstraps for the same reason that women wear bras.

7be5fb77ded9eb430161ad3f3c7b47b4But times have changed, and there are more modern options. For those of us not engaging in high-risk sports, simple compression shorts or athletic underwear are a more supportive and comfortable choice. Today, there are hundreds of brands and underwear styles specifically designed and engineered to help you get the most out of your workout.

So are jockstraps a relic of the past? Not exactly. Some men still opt for jockstraps because, let’s face it, they’re sexy. And the open backside is convenient for other, non-gym activities. Wink, wink.

So while modern athletic underwear may be a more functional choice, wearing a jockstrap just might give you that extra boost of confidence and pep in your step. If that’s the case, more power to you.

And send me a picture.


P.S. For a core workout that you can do at home (with or without a jockstrap), download Davey Wavey Six Pack Program and receive a free gift!