Archive for the tag - weight loss

Why People Want You To Be Fat.

no-480x360If you’re changing the way you look and feel by making better nutrition and fitness choices, you probably have a few great cheerleaders in your life. These people can provide encouragement and help you overcome challenges. But not everyone is rooting for your success.

You’ve probably heard things like:

  • “Just skip the gym today.”
  • “You don’t like my cooking? Is that why you won’t eat this?”
  • “Exercising is fine, but I think you’re obsessed.”
  • “Everyone else eats this – but you have to be different.”
  • “Oh, I’m sure one piece of cake won’t make a difference.”
  • “You know, most people who lose weight just end up gaining more back.”
  • “I think you’re losing too much weight.”

Rather than support you in your success, these diet saboteurs want to bring you down. Whether they’re friends, family, coworkers or a significant others, it’s important to understand their motivation.

Sometimes, it’s about power and control. If you stay overweight or out of shape, your partner may think that you’re less likely to attract attention from other people. With fewer options, this gives your partner more perceived control. But as you lose weight and attract more attention, your partner may feel control slipping from his or her grip. Ultimately, your partner may fear losing you to someone else; your partner may believe that you’ll leave him or her for someone more attractive.

In other instances, it’s about self-denial. When you lose weight and become healthier, it puts other people in an uncomfortable position of confronting their own weight issues. Your success becomes a personal assault on their own weight, and so they fight back by trying to sabotage your results. If you fall off the bandwagon, it makes them feel better about their situation.

Sometimes, the biggest saboteur in our life is ourselves. You commonly see this with people who have been sexually abused. If they lose weight, they may become more attractive and thus experience more unwanted attention. Sometimes, people have a fundamental fear of being perceived as beautiful. In these instances, it’s important to work with a professional.

Understanding what motivates diet saboteurs is an important step in transforming these toxic relationships. If you suspect your partner is afraid of losing you, have an open conversation. Communicate. Talk to your family and friends and let them know why this is important to you and why you want their support.

Have you ever experienced a diet saboteur? Share your story in the comments below.

 

Reducing Body Fat While Increasing Mass Simultaneously: Is It Possible?

Dear Davey,

Can I reduce fat in my mid section while also increasing the size of other muscles simultaneously?

Regards,
Abishek

shirtless-guys-pics-GymPaws-Fit-Guys-339x480Hey Abishek,

Your question is actually very common. To answer it, there are a few things you need to know.

To lose weight and reduce body fat, you must be in a calorie deficit. That is, consuming fewer calories in food than you are burning.

To build muscle or gain mass, you must be in a calorie surplus. That is, consuming more calories than you are burning.

As you can see, the goals of reducing body fat and increasing muscle mass work against each other. That’s why most personal trainers will focus on one goal and then the other. For example, a good personal trainer will most likely start a client on a program that results in fat loss while preserving muscle mass. Then, the trainer will switch gears and create a program to increase muscle size. The strategy will be different for both.

You also need to know that it’s impossible to spot-reduce fat. Fat comes off according to its own agenda. It may come off your chin, your butt, your face… In fact, for most men, the stubborn midsection is the last to shed fat.

Having said all of that, there is some research to suggest that you can both lose fat while gaining muscle. This is especially true for brand new exercisers. It’s quite common to see some fat loss and muscle gain occur simultaneously during the initial months – but this effect reduces over time.

Here’s the bottom line: Even if it’s possible to simultaneously lose fat and increase muscle mass, it wouldn’t be an efficient process. You’ll have much better results focusing on fat loss and muscle preservation first, then increases in muscle size later. That’s my recommendation.

Love,
Davey

 

 

Are You Afraid to Lose Weight?

Today’s guest post is by Davey Wavey’s good friend and spiritual weight release coach, Diane Petrella. Diane is also one of the contributors to The Davey Wavey Weight Loss Program.

psycho-screamDo you fear you’ll never reach your weight loss goal? Are you afraid you won’t maintain your weight even if you do? Do you feel uneasy when you think about how your life will change when you’re thin?

If you can relate, take heart. Fear is natural. When you learn to free yourself from fear’s grip, you confidently move forward and lose weight with ease and grace.

For many, fear is an uncomfortable yet familiar companion along their weight loss journey. Fear undermines your belief in yourself and stops you from having the life and body you want. When you believe your fears, it’s extremely hard to stay on track with your goals. But you can learn to give fear no power by replacing fear-based thoughts with thoughts of strength and determination.

For example, Jeannine wanted to be thinner but a fear of failing immobilized her. So whenever she thought about eating more nutritiously or exercising, one excuse after another appeared. When she looked below the surface, she realized her “excuses” protected her from feeling defeated. After all, if she didn’t start, she couldn’t fail. When she committed to challenge her fear, change began. It took time and effort, but Jeannine persistently used the strategy described below to shift her self-talk to words of encouragement and determination, and ultimately took charge of her weight-loss journey to reach her goal.

Reclaim Your Power

Your desire to have a thinner, fitter body is much more powerful than any fear you have, I promise. And your fears aren’t that unique or special either. Ask anyone who walks into an exercise class for the very first time or who attends a work function with lots of treats if fear ever tries to derail them. You bet it does. Change can feel scary!

But, you can access your power by thinking thoughts that support your success. Begin by making a conscious decision to no longer allow fear to control you. This decision helps you break the association in your mind between releasing weight and being afraid.

The first step is to recognize when fear arises. I’ve observed three types of fears that trigger anxiety and stress about losing weight. Can you relate to these?

1. Fears that stop you from getting started.

Sometimes the fear of failure immobilizes you from the get go. You fear repeating a pattern of disappointment and focus so much on past failures that a picture of defeat blocks your image of success. You don’t even try or you try halfheartedly. For example:

“I’ve failed before, I’m afraid I’ll fail again.”
“I’m just a hopeless case. I’m afraid I can’t do this.”
“Nothing’s worked in the past, I’m afraid this won’t be different.”

2. Fears that stall your progress.

As you become thinner, anxieties emerge regarding self-worth. The closer you get to your goal weight, the more vulnerable you feel because when you lose weight you also lose the emotional protection it provides. You stop moving forward. For example:

“I’m afraid once I’m thinner…
…I still won’t feel attractive,
…I still won’t find a boyfriend,
…I still won’t like myself.”

Becoming thinner can also trigger fear for those who experienced childhood sexual abuse. For example:

“I’m afraid when I lose weight men will find me attractive and that scares me.”

If you were sexually abused and have never received professional support, please consider doing so. Professional guidance helps you develop the inner resources to lose weight while feeling emotionally safe. To find a psychotherapist in your local area you can use this therapist finder tool at Psychology Today.

3. Fears that sabotage your success.

You’re close to reaching your goal weight, or you reach your goal weight and your mind fills with worries that you won’t keep the weight off. For example:

“I’m afraid I’ll gain back the weight and I’ll be disappointed again.”
“I’m afraid I don’t deserve this.”
“Who am I to be thin and attractive anyway?”

A Fear-Busting, Confidence-Building Strategy 



Whether fear prevents you from starting to lose weight, blocks your progress during your journey, or challenges your confidence once you’ve reached your goal, here’s a process to take command of your thoughts so you move forward:

1. When a fear-filled thought enters your mind, simply notice it. Ground yourself by taking several deep breaths until you feel even a slight sense of relief.

2. Then, create emotional distance between you and fear by talking to it. For example, confidently say, “Oh, there you are again, fear.” This helps you acknowledge fear but not be ruled by it. Since fear also weakens your body’s energy, it helps to physically reposition your body in a confident stance. For example, pull your shoulders back and hold your head high.

3. Finally, affirm your desire to release weight by firmly saying, “No! I will not let myself be afraid. I am capable of doing this.” Repeat several times to deepen your resolve. You then use a fearful moment to strengthen rather than weaken you and your mind and body respond with positive, uplifting energy.

4. Whenever fear-filled thoughts come in, repeat steps 1-3 to deepen your confidence and belief in yourself.

Use this process as necessary. Some fears require additional strategies to target the root cause and release them completely, so seek out help with deeper self-growth work as needed. Be patient and keep encouraging yourself with confident, determined self-talk. As you develop the habit of replacing fear with thoughts of confidence and strength, you free yourself to create the healthy, vibrant body you want and deserve.

Lost 40 Pounds In One Month…

Dear Davey,

I’ve struggled with obesity since childhood. Now that I’m an adult, I’ve been paying more attention to my body.

In the last month, I’ve managed to lose 40 pounds by not eating. I know that you need to eat to survive, but I want to continue getting results. What advice do you have?

Thanks,
Jason

Smaller_Plate_Wont_Help_Your_Diet_Research_ShowsHey Jason,

Thanks for the email.

I have to say, you are playing a very dangerous game – and, it’s one that you’ll inevitably lose without a dramatic change in your habits and the guidance of professional help.

Despite all the science that demonstrates otherwise, many people resort to starvation as a weight loss technique. As you’ve discovered, it does yield initial results; if you stop eating, you’ll lose weight. But the problems with this approach are many.

For one, you’re slowing your metabolism. Your metabolism determines how many calories your body burns on a daily basis. Because your body is starving (generally 1,000 calories or less per day), it will do everything it can to reduce its calorie consumption. Eventually, you’ll need to start eating again – and, when you do, your metabolism will lag. With a reduced daily calorie burn, all those extra calories from food will be packed on as fat. The resulting weight gain, in many instances, exceeds the initial weight loss.

No to mention the dramatic impact of nutritional deficiencies.

We also know that diet AND exercise are required for best results. By just practicing one or the other, you’re selling yourself short. Though diet alone can result in weight loss, exercise is required to ensure that the lost weight is mostly fat and not muscle. It takes a lot of energy to maintain muscles – and our bodies are very efficient machines. If you’re not using your muscles during periods of calorie restriction and weight loss, you’ll be quick to lose them.

You mentioned that you’re paying more attention to your body. That’s important. But don’t just pay attention to how your body looks; pay attention to what your body is telling you. If your body is hungry or weak or tired, then listen to these crucial messages – and act on them. Feed your body with the foods it really craves, like a delicious, colorful salad or some lean meats and vegetables. As you fuel your body with nourishing foods, pay attention to how your body feels.

I’d also suggest giving yourself the gift of professional help. It is absolutely worth your time, money and effort to work with a nutritionist, weight loss specialist or healthcare professional. After all, you only get one body. Let’s keep it in a good, working condition.

Love,
Davey

Forgive Yourself and Lose Weight.

Love-Yourself-FirstToday’s guest post is by Davey Wavey’s good friend and spiritual weight release coach, Diane Petrella. Diane is also one of the contributors to The Davey Wavey Weight Loss Program.

Your relationship with your body is one of the most important relationships that you’ll ever have. And I’m going to share the number-one thing you can do to honor that relationship and create permanent, lasting results.

Forgive yourself.

Yes… this might sound simple, but if you’re like so many on a weight-loss journey, you can be relentless when it comes to self-criticism and contempt for yourself and your body. When you let go of the guilt and shame about how you look or how you’ve treated your body, you enter a world of love and positivity that helps you create the healthy body you want and deserve.

A self-forgiving state of mind helps you more easily release negative judgments of yourself. You’re then less likely to act on those feelings by hurting yourself and your body. You’ll naturally want to take better care of your body. You see, when you learn to love yourself unconditionally and forgive yourself more readily, you’re likely to eat healthier foods, give your body the movement it needs, and talk to yourself with greater compassion.

On the other hand, when your body is filled with the poisonous energies of self-contempt (and I know you have experienced times like this), you’re more likely to turn to food for comfort or self-punishment. The negative feelings can quickly lead to a very old and familiar sense of being out of control or a victim.

As you begin to develop the habit of self-forgiveness you will notice significant changes in your physical health and in your ability to no longer rely on food for comfort. And when you feel that love for yourself and your body, you might, for example, be less likely to skip Zumba class in order to head right home after work and watch TV.

So, how do you forgive yourself?

It takes patience and persistence. Here are three heart-based exercises to help you open to the healing power of self-forgiveness, love yourself more and bring peace to your mind.

1. Be Willing to Forgive Yourself

Self-forgiveness starts with a willingness to release guilt, shame and self-hatred. Open the space for this healing energy to enter your mind and body by setting the intention to do so.

Simply say to yourself right now: “I want to forgive myself.”

Additionally, write these words down on paper several times:

“I want to forgive myself. I want to love myself fully and treat myself with loving kindness.”

This may seem like a very simple process. It is. Don’t equate simple with ineffective. A sincere and deliberate intention to stop berating yourself, and to forgive yourself when you do, helps you take charge of your life, feel less like a victim, and stop the cycle of emotional eating.

2. Wrap Negative Thoughts in Love

We all fall into old patterns. So the next time you slip back into less than healthy eating or exercise habits and berate yourself with unkind words, turn to your heart for comfort.

For example, instead of dwelling on those negative thoughts and feelings, remind yourself you can stop. Take a deep breath. Then, focus your attention on your heart and at the same time think of a beautiful memory or someone you love. I learned this exercise from the Institute of HeartMath and it helps you feel calm very quickly. Then, say this affirmation to yourself or out loud while keeping your attention on your heart:

“I release these thoughts and feelings (or shame and guilt, etc.) into the arms of Love and I open to loving and forgiving myself.”

Directing your attention to your heart infuses your words with calming, heart-based energy. It is as if you are wrapping your self-contempt in a blanket of love.

3. Connect to Your Heart, Literally

Become quiet. Place your hand on your heart. Feel your heart beat. Now, while keeping your hand on your heart, say to yourself:

“I totally and completely love and accept myself with all my problems and all my limitations.”

Feel into this process. Repeat several times daily.

This exercise helps you connect with the loving energy of your heart. Your heart doesn’t judge you for overeating or for talking harshly to yourself. It simply keeps beating on. Feel that beautiful, consistent heartbeat and know that you are loved by the pure energy within it.

Practice the above steps faithfully and you’ll begin to create a lightness of spirit within you.

Be patient and have faith. Over time you’ll notice that the love you give to yourself on the inside will be reflected in the ways you care for yourself and look and feel on the outside.

Will you practice self-forgiveness?

Weight Loss Can Cause Relationship Tension!

two men exerciseLosing weight has a number of important benefits. Many of those benefits improve your physical and emotional health. But losing weight can also have an impact on your romantic relationships – and not always for the better.

A paper from researchers at North Carolina State University examines the effects of weight loss on relationships. For the study, 21 couples in which one partner had lost at least 30 pounds were surveyed.

According the researchers, the impact of weight loss was often a positive one. In such instances, the partner who lost weight was able to talk about his or her changes – and, in doing so, inspire his or her partner to adopt a healthier lifestyle. These couples were able to bond over lifestyle changes and enjoyed improved physical and emotional intimacy.

But this wasn’t always the case.

For other couples, the impact of weight loss was negative. In some cases, the individual who lost weight nagged his or her partner to lose weight. This nagging led to added relationship tension. Moreover, some individuals reported feeling threatened or insecure because of their partners’ weight loss. These individuals tended to make critical comments, be less interested in intimacy and even tried to sabotage the success of their partners.

For better or worse, losing weight does affect relationship dynamics. But rather than dissuade someone from losing weight, researchers suggest:

[This study] should encourage people to be aware of the potential pros and cons of weight loss on their relationship. It is really important for the partner of someone trying to lose weight to be supportive of their significant other without feeling threatened by their health changes. This approach will help people lose weight without jeopardizing the quality of their relationship.

In other words, communication is hugely important. This is true of all relationships at all times, but especially true when experiencing or undertaking a life change like weight loss.

Have you ever lost weight in a relationship? How did it change your relationship?

Top 7 Dieting Mistakes.

diet-tips1So you want to lose weight and embark on a healthier lifestyle? Great!

But when it comes to dropping excess weight, knowledge is truly power. As a certified personal trainer, I’ve seen many, many people make the same missteps over and over again. Today, let’s learn from their mistakes and not let history repeat itself.

Here are the top 7 dieting mistakes:

  1. Buying “low fat” foods. As it turns out, the label low fat isn’t synonymous with healthy. And our bodies need good, essential fats. Limiting unhealthy saturated fats is a smart move, but ensure that you still get plenty of the good fats found in olive oil, nuts and avocados.
  2. Doing lots of cardio and no strength training. It’s true that cardio can help create the calorie deficit that’s needed to lose weight, but many dieters skip the weight room entirely. Without strength training, cardio is more likely to burn off both fat and muscle. And less muscle mass means a slower metabolism. It becomes a vicious cycle. The long and short of it is keep lifting weights!
  3. Starvation. To lose weight, a calorie deficit is necessary. A good calorie deficit occurs when we consume fewer calories through dieting and burn more calories from exercise. However, some dieters take things to the extreme and severely restrict calories to less than 1,200 for women and 1,500 for men. Caloric intake at this low level results in a massive slowdown in the body’s metabolism; energy is conserved to keep you alive. Eventually, you’ll need to eat. And when you do, your metabolism will be so slow that weight gain is unavoidable. Starvation is unhealthy and counterproductive.
  4. Drinking diet soda. Sure, diet sodas are calorie-free, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re a wise choice for dieters. Though more research is needed, a handful of initial studies have linked diet soda consumption and artificial sweeteners to weight gain and obesity. One theory is that artificial sweeteners feed our sweet tooth – and thus cause us to crave other sugary, unhealthy foods. The moral of the story is stick with water.
  5. Skipping meals. There is a misconception that skipping meals saves calories. According to researchers, people who eat fewer than three meals a day end up eating more calories in total throughout the day. Pace yourself by eating breakfast, lunch and dinner.
  6. Relying on fad diets. Some fad diets do work – but usually only for a short period of time. You can’t eat cabbage soup, for example, for the rest of your life. The problem is that most fad diets are pumped full of gimmicky marketing but short on lasting, sustainable results. Eating smart and exercising might not sound sexy, but it works.
  7. Measuring progress in pounds or kilos. Scales don’t tell the full story, and too many people get caught up weighing themselves every day. Evaluating your progress is crucial for success – as you can determine what is and isn’t working – but think beyond the scale. Body fat measurements are more accurate. Measuring your waist is also smart. Take before and after picture to monitor your journey. Pay attention when your clothes start to fit differently.

Be a smarter dieter by putting the above knowledge into practice. If you need more help achieving your weight loss goals, download The Davey Wavey Weight Loss Program. Use discount code “youtube” during checkout to save 25%!

And in the comments below, share any more tips that you might have!

7 Tips: Healthy Vacation Eating.

HealthWatch-06_10For the last 31 days, I’ve been jet-setting around the globe on a world tour to meet fans and to film content. Incredible as the tour was, from a health perspective, 31 days of eating in restaurants, planes, food courts and cafes posed a real challenge for my body.

So, I created a strategy. And spoiler alert, it worked.

Here are the 7 rules that I created for myself:

  1. Drink lots and lots and lots of water. I can’t stress this enough. Water has so many amazing and wonderful benefits including clearer skin, increased productivity, decreased cancer risk – and even a metabolic boost. Drink more. Weigh less.
  2. Eat for fuel, not pleasure. Okay, this one is a bit tricky. I don’t like the idea that eating healthy means forgoing flavor. There are tons of healthy, delicious and nutritious meals – especially if you’re cooking at home. When traveling, it’s a bit more difficult. So I prioritize the nutritional value of food over its flavor. Sure, pizza would be delicious. But a colorful salad topped with grilled chicken is what my body reallt needs. You don’t have to love the way every meal tastes. But you’ll certainly love the way it makes you feel – and that counts for a whole lot more.
  3. Look for the 12 unhealthy restaurant menu words. Anything that says Alfredo, pan-fried, crispy, battered, au gratin, etc. doesn’t belong in your stomach. Instead, clue into words like steamed, grilled, broiled or baked. In general, they’ll point your toward healthier food choices.
  4. Stock up on high-fiber fruit. When we traveled for my tour, we really didn’t stay in any one city long enough to go grocery shopping or to prepare meals on our own. But I did find a few minutes to sneak out to a local convenience or grocery store and buy some high-fiber fruits like apples. Because fiber is slow to digest, an apple snack is a great way to curb your hunger. When you do go out to eat, you’re much less likely to overeat.
  5. Don’t drink your calories. Okay, you’ve heard this one before. But consider how many more calories are packed into restaurant meals versus what you’d be cooking at home. All the extra butter, cheese and grease doesn’t help – not to mention extra large portion size. It’s possible to offset some of those additional calories by sticking to water as a beverage of choice. The only exception would be a nutrition-packed drink, such as a real fruit smoothie made with an unsweetened almond milk base (versus an apple juice base which is loaded in sugar and calories).
  6. Customize your meals. Don’t order exactly as it is from the menu. Most restaurants are happy to make substitutions. Cut out the mayo. Ask for the dressing on the side. Get a sandwich without cheese. Ask for dry toast. Substitute a side item for salad or steamed vegetables. Get brown rice instead of white. While small, each of these substitutions will instantly upgrade your meal.
  7. Pay attention. It’s not about starving yourself or going crazy, but it is about paying attention to the food that goes into your body. Make each food decision consciously and deliberately. This doesn’t mean avoiding gelato in Italy, but it might mean enjoying a few spoonfuls rather than a whole container.

As a bonus tip, it’s important to be realistic. Traveling and eating healthy are real challenges, and so it’s not a good time to embark on a diet or weight loss plan. It’s more about minimizing the damage or trying to maintain your current level. And good nutritional habits should be complemented with good exercise habits. Even while traveling – or, especially while you’re traveling – go to the gym to prevent muscle mass loss and to burn off those extra calories.

How Your Subconscious Mind Sabotages Weight Loss.

C2CAA889-979E-BACC-B8467A9CA1C4FA51_1

Today’s guest post is by Davey Wavey’s good friend and spiritual weight release coach, Diane Petrella. Diane is also one of the contributors to The Davey Wavey Weight Loss Program.

Early in our lives we’re “programmed” with certain beliefs that shape us. For example, if you were praised and supported as a child, you most likely developed a sense of confidence. But if you were repeatedly ridiculed, especially about your weight, deep down you may feel unworthy. This belief may erode your confidence even as you strive to do all the right things to lose weight.

When there is something you desire, but can’t seem to make happen—like losing those last 20 pounds, for example—chances are your subconscious, hidden beliefs are blocking you. Your conscious mind is like the tip of an iceberg. It’s visible and obvious. From this place your desire is clear: “I want to lose weight.”

Your subconscious mind, however, is the mass of ice below, hidden beneath the surface.  It carries beliefs rooted in your past and is much more powerful than the small tip above. To permanently lose weight, your conscious and subconscious minds must agree. For example, if your subconscious mind says, “I’m a failure,” your journey may feel hard. But if your subconscious mind says, “I’m worthy and capable of reaching my weight loss goal,” you most likely will.

Meet Alice

Overweight since childhood, Alice wanted to lose 50 pounds. She believed her weight was the reason she couldn’t meet another man after her divorce. She and her ex-husband were childhood sweethearts and now that she was older, she believed no one would want to date her.

Whenever Alice attempted to improve her lifestyle habits to lose weight, she stopped eating healthfully. This pattern continued for several months, even as she earnestly wanted to become thinner. Because she understood the power of her beliefs, she examined what kept getting in her way. Alice discovered contradictory beliefs that sabotaged her progress.

On one level, Alice wanted to lose weight. But on a deeper level, she feared men wouldn’t want to date her even when she was thinner. She often said, “Who would want someone like me?” Staying overweight paradoxically offered Alice both hope and protection—hope that “someday” she’d meet a man when she was thinner but also protection from being rejected by men when she was thinner.

What a double bind!

Alice’s Strategy

Alice reached her goal weight, and while she hasn’t yet begun dating, the confidence and self-assurance she feels makes that less of a priority.  Here are the steps Alice took to release negative and contradictory beliefs that held her back:

Positive Affirmations
Alice strengthened her self-talk by frequently repeating these affirmations to herself: “I am loveable,” “I am worthy,” “I am beautiful.”

Thought Stopping
Whenever Alice became afraid or thought she was unworthy of being loved, she deliberately stopped herself. She took several deep breaths to calm her body and then said to herself, “This thought is not a fact. It’s just a belief I’ve had for a long time. I choose to let it go.”

Visualization
Every day Alice used visualization to imagine herself five pounds lighter. Once she reached that goal, she’d imagine herself five more pounds lighter, and so on. Visualizing small steps helped Alice slowly adjust to changes in her body and feel less afraid of reaching her goal weight.

Emotional Freedom Technique
Alice used an energy psychology technique called EFT or Tapping to help eliminate her limiting belief of “I’m not worthy.” Considered a cousin to acupuncture, EFT is a process of using your fingertips to tap on certain energy meridian pathways on your body. EFT has been shown to be very effective with helping to eliminate limiting beliefs as well as anxiety, fears, and other psychological blocks.

Support
Besides counseling, Alice routinely interacted on Calorie Count’s on-line forums and sought additional support through Overeaters Anonymous. These resources helped her feel less isolated and offered her much needed encouragement.

It’s not your fault if you’re having a hard time losing weight if you don’t even know what hidden obstacles are blocking you. But if you want to reach your goal, it’s up to you to find out. As Alice did, learn to identify limiting beliefs and remove the emotional obstacles that keep you stuck. Doing so will not only help you release weight with greater ease, your results most likely will be permanent.

Losing Weight: When Nothing Works?!

Hi Davey,

I’m a 22 year old girl who has always been a bit overweight but now I’m definitely obese. I’ve tried to lose weight through several diets and to stay active, but almost always have failed.

My two biggest problems are 1) I’m incredibly lazy and I just can’t be bothered to go out to have a walk 2) I don’t like most of the fruits and vegetables that are recommended for a diet.

Do you have any tips or some way to stick to the diet and, above all, to avoid being so damn lazy?

Love,
Melissa

yesyoucanHey Melissa,

Thanks for the thoughtful and honest email. I have to warn you, my response is going to contain some tough love.

But first, it’s worth noting that losing weight isn’t just about moving more and eating smarter – though obviously both are crucial to the weight loss process. For a lot of people, losing weight can have a deep psychological component. Often times, weight issues are interwoven with childhood trauma, sexual abuse and so on. Some people eat food to self-soothe. Some people fear being perceived as attractive. Some people fear their own greatness.

In these instances, it’s important to reach out for professional help.

Having said all of that, you mentioned that your two biggest problems are laziness and a dislike of healthy food.

If you’re too lazy to exercise, then health isn’t a priority for you. And it’s a waste of time for you to embark on a fitness program. You need to really, really want the benefits of a healthy lifestyle to stay motivated.

Ask yourself, why do I want to be fit? Maybe you want to have a family and raise children – and be there for them. Maybe you want to live a long, healthy life – and be alive for your grandchildren. Maybe you don’t want to burden your family with the health ailments that obesity will likely bring. Maybe you love life too much to die an early death. These are the things that motivate me… but make your own list.

According to one study, obesity trims 10 years off of your life. If that doesn’t motivate you to take a walk, then I can’t really help you.

And yes, I know that not everyone enjoys eating fruits and vegetables. A doughnut tastes better than kale – but take into account how foods make your body feel. After eating a doughnut, your body feels slow and sluggish. After eating kale, you’re energized and lively. We don’t eat food just for taste, but also as fuel for our body. Make this distinction.

Over time, you may find that you do develop a taste for healthy foods. While steamed broccoli doesn’t excite me, a fresh, colorful salad definitely does. In other words, you don’t always have to pick between flavor and nutrition; some foods have both.

Last but not least, don’t underestimate the power of a positive mindset. Switching from a mindset of I can’t and I don’t to I can and I do makes a huge difference. Be your own loudest cheerleader, even if you’re still unsure of yourself!

Again, thank you for such an honest email. You’re certainly not alone in your obstacles, but I hope you find the strength and motivation to step up and achieve your fitness goals.

Love,
Davey Wavey