It’s Not What You’re Eating; It’s What’s Eating You.

Hello Davey,

The reason I’m reaching out to you is because I’ve hit that point in my life where I am ready to make some major changes. Right now, I am 20 (I’ll be 21 on Apr. 26th), I weigh 259 and I’m about 6ft. I’ve always been the big kid that everyone bullied, and I always used that as an excuse to justify my over eating. Now, I’m tired of justifying my excuse, and I’m ready to change it. What advice do you have for someone who is just starting out in the gym and starting to eat well?


Change is possible!

A dramatic before and after: Change is possible!

Hey Jayden,

Thank you for your email and congratulations on taking the first step.

When we increase our food intake as a way to cope with negative emotions, it’s called emotional eating. For a lot of people, food can become a distraction from painful feelings, and overeating results. As such, I once heard someone ask: Are you unhappy because you’re overweight… or are you overweight because you’re unhappy?

In other words, sometimes it’s not what you’re eating; it’s what’s eating you.

As I’ve said so often before, losing weight isn’t as simple as moving more and eating smarter. Yes, both diet and exercise are important. But we must also examine the relationships in our lives - and, perhaps most importantly - the relationship we have with our body. As such, the best advice that I can give is to seek out professional help by finding a psychotherapist in your area. There’s no reason for you to do this alone.

Whatever diet and exercise plan you choose to follow (of course, I recommend The Davey Wavey Weight Loss Program), you’ll be encouraged to increase physical activity and decrease your calorie consumption through a healthier, proportioned nutrition plan. My advice is to lean into whatever changes you’d like to make; don’t make big changes too quickly. We are creatures of habit, and big changes are rarely sustainable. This means going to the gym once or twice a week (at least, at first) rather than six times a week. It might mean 30 minutes of exercise per day instead of 90 minutes. As these changes slowly become habits, you can gradually increase your commitments.

Someone bullying or hurting you isn’t a reason to further hurt yourself. Overeating and weight gain are preventing you from living the healthy, vibrant life that all of us deserve. Congratulations on taking your life back.


P.S. If you’d like to get started with The Davey Wavey Weight Loss Program, use discount code “YouTube” to save 25% during checkout.

About Davey Wavey

Davey Wavey is a certified personal trainer and YouTube sensation with more than 250 million video views. For Davey's fitness tips and secrets, sign up for his free monthly newsletter - or download any of his affordable and effective workout programs.


  1. Davey, I agree with all that you have written. But I recently saw on a tumblr page a video of you and two other guys being kinda a mean to someone who was a bit chubby in underwear. You were on a judging panel or something. Anyways, I also think that shaming people is not an effective strategy. While that video was not meant as a weight loss tool, but non the less it was not something I would expect from someone like you who has expressed to love ourselves and each other.

  2. Dave, great post! When beginning a new fitness program, it is important to ease into the program and not make big changes too quickly . Thanks for sharing!

  3. Great basic advice and words of encouragement for a beginner looking to lose weight. It’s really about just getting started. Don’t try to be perfect. You’ll build momentum overtime.

  4. great suggestion…

  5. I left a comment on this last night, but it may have been swlleowad?Loved the Sagebrush story. I’m a big Proulx fan but think there has been a bit of a dip in her recent work, but this is a real return to form. Pity it’s not up on the Guardian site, I’d love to send it on to a couple of people. Definitely try the Barnes’ story again, it’s very funny. As someone who is awful at writing dialogue, I was in awe of the way he carried it through to the end. Ruby

  6. very great good information nice