Losing Weight: When Nothing Works?!

Hi Davey,

I’m a 22 year old girl who has always been a bit overweight but now I’m definitely obese. I’ve tried to lose weight through several diets and to stay active, but almost always have failed.

My two biggest problems are 1) I’m incredibly lazy and I just can’t be bothered to go out to have a walk 2) I don’t like most of the fruits and vegetables that are recommended for a diet.

Do you have any tips or some way to stick to the diet and, above all, to avoid being so damn lazy?


yesyoucanHey Melissa,

Thanks for the thoughtful and honest email. I have to warn you, my response is going to contain some tough love.

But first, it’s worth noting that losing weight isn’t just about moving more and eating smarter - though obviously both are crucial to the weight loss process. For a lot of people, losing weight can have a deep psychological component. Often times, weight issues are interwoven with childhood trauma, sexual abuse and so on. Some people eat food to self-soothe. Some people fear being perceived as attractive. Some people fear their own greatness.

In these instances, it’s important to reach out for professional help.

Having said all of that, you mentioned that your two biggest problems are laziness and a dislike of healthy food.

If you’re too lazy to exercise, then health isn’t a priority for you. And it’s a waste of time for you to embark on a fitness program. You need to really, really want the benefits of a healthy lifestyle to stay motivated.

Ask yourself, why do I want to be fit? Maybe you want to have a family and raise children - and be there for them. Maybe you want to live a long, healthy life - and be alive for your grandchildren. Maybe you don’t want to burden your family with the health ailments that obesity will likely bring. Maybe you love life too much to die an early death. These are the things that motivate me… but make your own list.

According to one study, obesity trims 10 years off of your life. If that doesn’t motivate you to take a walk, then I can’t really help you.

And yes, I know that not everyone enjoys eating fruits and vegetables. A doughnut tastes better than kale - but take into account how foods make your body feel. After eating a doughnut, your body feels slow and sluggish. After eating kale, you’re energized and lively. We don’t eat food just for taste, but also as fuel for our body. Make this distinction.

Over time, you may find that you do develop a taste for healthy foods. While steamed broccoli doesn’t excite me, a fresh, colorful salad definitely does. In other words, you don’t always have to pick between flavor and nutrition; some foods have both.

Last but not least, don’t underestimate the power of a positive mindset. Switching from a mindset of I can’t and I don’t to I can and I do makes a huge difference. Be your own loudest cheerleader, even if you’re still unsure of yourself!

Again, thank you for such an honest email. You’re certainly not alone in your obstacles, but I hope you find the strength and motivation to step up and achieve your fitness goals.

Davey Wavey

About Davey Wavey

Davey Wavey is a certified personal trainer and YouTube sensation with more than 250 million video views. For Davey's fitness tips and secrets, sign up for his free monthly newsletter - or download any of his affordable and effective workout programs.


  1. I totally agree about food preferences. When I was younger, I would probably only eat sugar-based ‘foods’ if I could. Now that I’m a bit more educated about food and have experimented with different foods, I definitely prefer healthful foods over crappy stuff. It took a couple of years, but I started with little steps: first, I tried really, really hard to avoid fried foods and more than one sugar-heavy food a day. After a few weeks of that, I tried eating more veg with every meal. Now, I would take roasted root vegetables over a chocolate cake any day. (Not that I deny myself chocolate cake once in a while, it’s just that sugar gives me a high and then I crash.)

    The big thing for me was keeping track of calories consume v. calories expended. There are a ton of apps out there. It was really fulfilling to always operate at caloric deficient and see the weight drop off.

    Also, I decided that if I’m going to watch tv, I might as well do it on the elliptical machine. I lost 65 lbs. in four months. You can do it, too.

  2. Having an honest conversation with yourself about your priorities is so true. I was pretty skinny all my life and had a really good metabolism until I was 25. I slowed down, but I wasn’t fat by any means. I was, however, ever so slowly gaining. When I was pregnant, I got gestational diabetes and had to inject insulin. Gained weight after birth but didn’t do anything about it. When I finally decided to eat healthier and start exercising, I lost a lot of weight and got into a healthy mindset. Even after I got pregnant for a second time. Unfortunately, in my second pregnancy, I got gestational diabetes again, and it was worse than the first time. My doctor told me that I will DEFINITELY get diabetes for real in a couple of years. I am now determined to prove my doctor wrong. I refuse to get diabetes, especially not the kind I would have: Type 2. I have two kids now. I have them to think about, too. I’ve been making better choices with my food. Exercising more. Did the Warrior Dash beginning of August. Will be doing Mudman X this September. I want to stay on this course, and I do it because I don’t want to be diabetic. I do it for my family.

  3. I used to be addicted to junk foods of all sorts. I lived off of frozen entrees and instant foods. It wasn’t until I started to feel bad health-wise that I started to pay more attention to nutrition and what was in my food. I read some books and they totally changed my views on food and nutrition after learning about the impacts that junk food has on your body. That stuff no longer seems half as appealing to me anymore. I still eat some from time to time, but I make far better choices for snacks now.

  4. I took it in steps-first by exercising moderation in my diet, then slowly replacing my worst junk food habits for better ones (i.e. replacing potato chips with no-salt tortilla chips and fresh, organic salsa-SO delicious and you can usually consume a lot without feeling guilty), adding more fresh food into my diet (doesn’t have to be kale, though I love it!, try starting with more fruit and veggies you do enjoy like carrots and sweet potatoes-celery with peanut butter! and I still count pickles!) and when I did that, I did lose a bit of weight without really going on an extreme diet and slowly expanding my taste for healthier foods.

    I’m really, REALLY lazy too and I found that I didn’t enjoy leaving the house to work out. So what? You can work out in your home! Davey Wavey’s programs on youtube are, of course, wonderful-my favorite to do is Blogilates with Cassey Ho-she provides a workout calendar on her website (for regular and beginners) and all her videos are free. I’ve lost about 35 lbs following her regimen and by keeping my diet mostly clean. When you’re feeling lazy, it’s all about baby steps. Maybe do a workout video (most of Blogilates are 7-15 minutes!) and see how you feel; maybe you feel like doing another! Maybe not, but you’ve still done something! The more you do, the more you realize how much you love it!

  5. Thanks a lot for sharing this awesome information about this topic.