An Open Letter to Hot Straight Men at the Gym.

hot-gym-guy-liveliketomDear Straight Men,

I’m a gay guy. And because it’s basically a statistical certainty, there are probably other gay men like myself at your gym. We use the same weights, the same treadmills and, yes, even the same showers.

The truth is, I’m really not attracted to most of you. Just because I like men doesn’t mean that I like all men, and most straight guys are actually quite repulsive. No offense.

But every now and then, on a very rare occasion, a cute straight guy might catch my attention. I’m pretty good at not staring, but I might give him a quick glance or a one over. If I see him in the locker room, I just might muster up the courage to check him out shirtless.

Of course, most straight guys don’t care if a gay man checks them out at the gym. In fact, many might find it flattering. But there is a small but vocal minority of straight men that are deeply offended by a gay dude checking them out. These straight guys find it disgusting or upsetting or in poor taste.

To these deeply offended straight men, I would like to offer you a deal. This deal is being offered on behalf of myself and all gay men everywhere. We will stop checking you out. No glances. No looks. Nothing. Here’s the catch: That is, if you agree to stop checking out women. That’s right. We will stop if you agree to stop doing the very same thing to the women around you.

Because some women find your staring to be disgusting, upsetting and in poor taste.

Whether she’s doing a squat, running on the treadmill or stretching her legs, we won’t look at you if, and only if, you don’t look at her.

Fair is fair.

Davey Wavey & Gay Men

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  1. exactly. fair is fair, and gay or not, we all HATE being looked at and treated like we are just our body parts for YOUR sexual satisfaction. thats rude, and not nice, we are PEOPLE, not body parts to be used, forgotten about and thrown away.

    • most people go to gym to look good and finding out that someone is staring is flattering. if you hate stretching or so, do it at home

  2. Natasha Harhold says:

    I love this, and thank you! When I’m at the gym, I’m there to work out, not to be hit on. And honestly, straight men don’t just check us out - they make comments. They can’t keep their mouths shut. I’m not your baby, your sweetie, and I’m not here to make you feel good about yourself. I’m here to make ME feel good about MYself, so beat it.

    • Love your comment! We are at the gym for ourselves - if I want to be ogled, I’ll be dressed for it!

  3. Its funny how you have a photo of Marc, I have known Marc for awhile growing up in Quebec, and He is not by all means homophobic, He does not really care, and who are you to say ” all ” will stop checking everyone out, You think because you have a youtube channel your king of all social media gays? This post is so ridiculous

  4. Well to be fair, most straight men are not allowed in a female locker room to check women out in the buff (pun intended) after a workout, in an area where some degree of privacy is to be expected. As a gay guy, I don’t agree with the straight guy panic over being checked out at a bar or a club or walking around on the street, but in a gym locker room I can understand them not wanting to be stared at. (Of course I suspect there are a few that actually do want to be stared at, but they are usually flexing in the mirror naked and blocking the towel racks.)

  5. “most straight guys are actually quite repulsive. No offense.”

    Yeah, because *not* causing offence was really what was intended with that statement.

    Imagine if a straight guy’s response is to the above article… “I don’t want you staring at me as I find gay people repulsive. No offense.” I don’t think it’d go down very well…

    *shakes head*
    A Gay Guy

  6. There is a difference between checking out people on the street, in the gym or at a bar and checking out anybody in a locker room or under the shower. The
    former is human nature, the latter is disgusting.

    • And it’s not human nature to want to see an attractive half or even fully naked person in the locker room? Right. You’re gonna get checked out. It’s no big deal unless they’re just staring at you endlessly, reaching to cop a feel or hitting on you despite you having let the person know you’re not interested.

      If you’re gonna show your bum in the locker room, someone attracted to it will do a double take. It’s not disgusting. That too is human nature I’m afraid. ^^

  7. suckanotherdick says:

    You need to get over yourself.

  8. I go to the gym and I do the odd glance at a girl. Some girls are that beautiful and it’s hard not to look but I would never stare like a creep. If a gay guy was eyeballing me, I’d love ito for the confidence boost. You could come up and slap me on the ass and call me sexy and the only thing I would say is “cheers buddy”

  9. pluckoutmyeyesoiwontlook says:

    Are we really supposed to believe that gym goers don’t work on their bodies specifically to be looked it. Gay/Straight/Bi/Transgender I don’t care either work out at home or wear a sack to the gym otherwise don’t feign offense if people choose to look at you.

  10. I quite agree with almost every part of the article, excepto for the part that says “and most straight men are quite repulsive”. I have to say that was quite disrespectful. Something like “and most straight men are not actually atractive in any way” could be a better way to say it truthfully and with respect -since I’m guessing that claiming respect from straight men towards gay men is what this article is mostly about.

    You have to be carefull of how you say ehat you say if you ask for respect. In which case, it should never be disrespectful.

  11. Try using your words to speak for yourself and not for all gay men (according to how you sign your letter).
    Many gay men find it fun to be bitchy, but not the majority. Some are very very respectful.

  12. charles levan says:

    Liked your letter and I agree with you, however, “…and most straight guys are actually quite repulsive.” was bitchy and in poor taste.

  13. You missed the point. He meant that it’s normal for gay guys to check out the guys as it’s normal for straight guys to check on the women.

  14. str8 men get upset when gay men look at them because they think they are being scoped out as potential sexual partners and that fear comes boiling up from within thinking they may have been found out………

  15. Stephen Bowers says:

    Perfect David perfect

    • Michael says:

      It’s ALWAYS the guys whom no guy checks out that has issues with guys checking out other guys

  16. chris prodd says:

    Nobody cares what you think. Especially the straight men this is addressed to.

  17. Michael says:

    F#ck that. They can stop checking out women all they want. If they’re hot then I ain’t stopping.

  18. Dave,

    I am the “cute straight guy” that gay men check out (dated 2 nfl cheerleaders, a model, and many more) It’s not so much as being offended by gay men or even women, it’s more of being kind of annoyed. Frequently being ogled gets tiring after a while. I feel like a girl sometimes. I realize how uncomfortable it may make them feel. Therefore, I RARELY check women out. It gets annoying. I’ve had guys try to give me head in the steam room, girls take pictures of me, it’s just too much. BUT with all that said, humans are humans and it is a natural instinct of attraction, so it’s not a big deal at the end of the day. Personally, I think you’re awesone and love watching your videos!

  19. What i don’t realize is actually how you’re not really much more well-favored than you might be right now.
    You’re so intelligent. You already know thus significantly with regards
    to this topic, made me for my part imagine it from numerous varied angles.
    Its like women and men are not interested until it is something to do with Girl gaga!
    Your own stuffs excellent. At all times deal with it up!

  20. Maarten says:

    Hi Davey,

    Thanks for this post. I came across it just because I wanted know what google would tell me about ‘dealing with straight guys at the gym’.

    I look at hot guys at the gym. I do it in a casual, neutral, and even appreciative way. I’m not trying anything, but I am also not trying not to notice how good their bodies look. I keep it cool and neutral, and I’m sure they can sense that.

    Then there’s the casual chat: “Is this bench free?”, “Are you ready using these cables?” , a guy leaves the locker room and says good evening to the people in there and just happens to look at you. What if you like this guy, in the way that you had noticed him before and thought he was really good looking, but the distance of silence kept everything safe and easy? Now you’re talking and there’s a small amount of chemistry between the two of you. It’s the chemistry of two people who meet and enjoy the fact that they’re meeting someone new. There’s a small joke, a little smile, a nice word. It has happened to me and I have found in my short experience (I’ve been going to gym for 6 weeks now) that I’m still looking for a proper way to deal with this: they’re just making contact, out of sociability and I’m confronted with a guy who I think is very beautiful, so I’m really tempted, but on the other hand I want to keep it neutral and nice.

    It’s frustrating and my conclusion is that walking down the sexual path will not get me anywhere in the long run. I won’t get to know nice people at the gym and I won’t get any respect.

    Gyms are physical, sensual places, filled with people who are in good shape. We groan, we sweat, we breathe loudly, we flex, we bend,… Gyms are social places, so people will look at other people, but going beyond the level of neutrally looking, seems like a bad idea to me. It’s just bad manners, isn’t it?

  21. The negative broadstroke comment against most straight men is just more proof this hack just got famous by taking off his shirt


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