Archive for the tag - sex

Is Masturbation Healthy: How Often Should You Do It?

Dear Davey,

I have a really embarrassing question to ask. I know that you’re not a doctor, but is masturbation healthy? Does it impact my workouts and how often is too often?



Someone spent money on this?

Hey Joe,

This is probably my favorite question. Ever.

As it turns out, a lot of people rub the nub. One national survey found that 95% of men and 89% of women reported masturbating; the other 5% and 11%, respectively, reported lying. In other words, a little hand to gland combat is a very common and normal part of the human experience.

First things first, masturbation is actually quite healthy. Despite antiquated medical assumptions to the contrary, science has shown that masturbation is a good thing. Benefits range from sleeping better to stress management and improved brain health. Apparently, orgasms are better for your brain than crossword puzzles or Sudoku.

As to the impact of masturbation on athletic performance, the research is also clear. Back in the day, coaches would steer their athletes clear of sexual activity including self pleasure; the assumption was that getting your rocks off decreased testosterone - a hormone that many believe boosts athletic performance. But science is a beautiful thing! In actuality, regular sexual activity increases testosterone. Myth busted!

So when it comes to draining the dragon, how often is too often? According to Logan Levkoff, PhD, a sexologist and sex educator:

It’s not how many times you masturbate in a week (or day) that really matters. It’s how it fits into your life… If you masturbate many times a day and have a healthy, satisfying life, good for you. But if you masturbate many times a day and you’re missing work or giving up on sex with your partner because of it, consider seeing a sex therapist.

What is harmful, on the other hand, is the shame and guilt that many people feel because of the views that their culture or religion impose on this healthy and natural human practice.

As if you needed another reason for some five knuckle shuffle. Enjoy.


P.S. If you want to give your forearms a break and train another muscle group, give Davey Wavey’s Six Pack Workout a try. It’s five, 12-minute ab workouts that you can do just about anywhere.


Let’s Talk About PrEP.

img.phpThis is a blog about health and fitness. And when it comes to your health, being proactive against disease and affliction is of paramount importance.

And that’s why I want to talk about PrEP.

And before anyone else mentions it, no this is not a sponsored post. This is an honest and open conversation that our community needs to be having.

First things first, PrEP is short for “pre-exposure prophylaxis,” and it involves the practice of using drugs like Truvada to prevent HIV infection. For high risk communities (i.e., sexually active gay or bisexual men), some doctors are prescribing this treatment to reduce risk of HIV infection. When taken as recommended, studies show that it can be up to 99% effective.

So is PrEP right for you? That’s something that only you and your doctor can decide. There’s a lot to consider, including risk factors, side effects, the fact that PrEP doesn’t guard against other STDs and, unfortunately, price. Truvada is expensive (roughly $1,500 per month) but it can be covered by insurance and there is a co-pay assistance program.

It’s estimated that about 500,000 people in the United States are potentially good candidates for PrEP. But according to PBS New Hour:

The drug’s manufacturer, Gilead Sciences Inc., says that in reviewing records from about half of U.S. pharmacies that dispensed Truvada between January 1, 2012, and March 31, 2014, it found that only 3,253 people had started the PrEP regimen during that period.


HIV infections in the United States.

So why has PrEP been so slow to catch on?

There are probably a number of factors. For one, a lot of people don’t know about PrEP. It isn’t currently being actively marketed and, for whatever reasons, people don’t seem to be talking about it. There’s also a layer of stigma. I’ve heard PrEP referred to as the “slut pill.” People who proactively prioritize their health shouldn’t be shamed; they should be celebrated and emulated.

At a certain point, we need to recognize that condom campaigns and HIV education aren’t enough. HIV infections continue to rise. We need a new tool and PrEP could be part of the answer.

At the end of the day, gay and bisexual men are at high risk for HIV infection. And here is a treatment that dramatically cuts that risk. For me, it’s as simple as that.

What do you think about PrEP? Let me know in the comments below.


Study: Exercise For Better Sexlife.

gay_kiss_by_joseljl-d6tm8peThere are a lot of reasons to exercise. And a healthier sex life is certainly among them.

Researchers at Harvard examined 31,742 men ages 53 to 90. Physically active men, according to the researchers, had a 30% lower risk of erectile dysfunction (ED). And the more you exercise, the more that risk goes down.

It makes sense. A leading cause of ED are clogged arteries that steal blood and oxygen away from your organs and tissues. By engaging in regular exercise, you enjoy the benefits of a healthier heart and cardiovascular system. This keeps the blood flowing… to all areas of your body.

But the sex-related benefits of exercise don’t end there.

A lack of physical activity and increased TV viewing has been linked to decreasing semen quality. Not to mention, if you workout regularly, you’re more able to handle the physical challenges of sex. No one wants to stop because they’re too tired, sore or winded.

With people often struggling to find the motivation to hit the gym, the promise of improved or better sex can be the kick-in-the-butt that some of us need.

The bottom line: Exercise for your health, heart and… for better sex.

Should I Join a Gay Gym?

If you’re a fitness-craving gay man living in a metropolitan area, then you’ve probably pondered this question: Should I join a gay gym?

It’s no secret that some gyms are gayer than others. As I write this article, I’m visiting downtown Toronto - and I could tell you exactly which gyms are known for being gay. The Extreme Fitness at Yonge and Dundas, for example, or the Goodlife at Bloor and Park. Yonge Street Fitness is pretty gay, too. In fact, while working out an especially gay (and now closed) gym, one of the members actually started kissing me in the middle of my ab workout.

On one hand, joining a gay gym can foster a sense of community. It’s always a nice change to not be in the minority - or outnumbered by straight people. Despite the unsolicited sexual advances, it feels safer. And it’s fun to see your friends while working out.

On the other hand, gay gyms come with their fair share of distractions. For one, they tend to be very cruisey. There will be no shortage of eye contact or staring, and you’ll need to ask yourself if you’re at the gym to workout - or to find a man. Or perhaps both. Whatever your motivation, be honest with yourself about it. If you really are joining a gym purely to workout, the distractions can be difficult.

Personally, I enjoy visiting gay gyms when I’m traveling. But, as a general rule, I don’t screw where I lift; it’s much easier to find a good man than it is to find a good gym. If you do hook up or get into a relationship with a gym buddy, know that you’ll continue to see him again and again when you workout. Depending on the experience, that could be a great thing. Or it could be horrible, awkward and uncomfortable.

I don’t think there’s an easy answer to the question, but I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below. Do you prefer working out at a gay gym? Why or why not?

Coregasm: Exercise Induced Orgasms.

Wouldn’t it be a lot easier to get to the gym if it meant that might have an orgasm? Turns out, for a lot of women, exercise-induced orgasms (EIO) and exercise-induced sexual pleasure (EISP) are exceedingly common.

The first-of-its-kind study is published in a special issue of Sexual and Relationship Therapy. According to the study’s authors:

The most common exercises associated with exercise-induced orgasm were abdominal exercises, climbing poles or ropes, biking/spinning and weight lifting. These data are interesting because they suggest that orgasm is not necessarily a sexual event, and they may also teach us more about the bodily processes underlying women’s experiences of orgasm.

The study concluded that 40% of the women who experienced EIO or EISP had done so on more than 10 occasions; in other words, these events are relatively common - though, aside from a few blogs that have coined the term “coregasm,” no one seems to talk about it. Therefore, it’s not surprising that many women reported feeling self-conscious while exercising and another 20% noted that they couldn’t control their sexual experience.

It’s uncertain if these EIO and EISP-related feelings of self-consciousness prevented any of these women from working out regularly. It’s also uncertain if the EIO or EISP experiences have a positive impact (i.e., enhanced sex lives) - though future research hopes to tackle the possibility.

I do know that there are a lot of men out there - myself included - who would find it much easier to get to the gym on a Monday morning if it included the possibility of an orgasm. It sounds like it could be some great motivation.

In the comments below, let me know if you’ve ever had an exercise-induced orgasm or exercise-induced sexual pleasure while working out. And no, we’re not talking about beating off in the shower with your gym buddy.

F*ck Your Way into Shape?

With my boyfriend in town, I got to thinking about the cardiovascular benefits of sex. It certainly gets the heart pumping, the blood flowing and the sweat dripping. So, it’s got to be a good workout, right?

Sorta. It’s certainly better than watching TV and eating Cheetos.

An hour of intercourse burns somewhere between 300 - 400 calories for the typical participants, depending on weight and intensity. At 160 lbs, I could expect to burn at least 307 calories in an hour of f*cking.

But what about foreplay? In terms of calorie consumption, I’d burn 106 calories in 60 minutes. Not so great.

So how does intercourse rate against other cardiovascular exercises? At 160 lbs, here’s how sex stacks up for me:

  • Sex - foreplay 106
  • Raking lawn 288
  • Sex - intercourse 307
  • Walking 4 mph 374
  • Swimming - moderate 442
  • Aerobics - high impact 509
  • Rowing machine - moderate 509
  • Bicycling / cycling 12-14 mph 634
  • Swimming - vigorous 710
  • Running 6 mph 730
  • Basketball full court 797
  • Running 7 mph 835
  • Running 8 mph 979

I’d put sex into the “kinda” workout category. It’s good for your heart, but not reason enough to skip the treadmill.

Bottom line: You’re probably not going to f*ck you way to a six pack.

And, it turns out that hitting the gym is great for you sex life. Learn why…

Improve Your Sex Life with Exercise!

We know that exercise is good for your body, but have you ever considered that it’s good for your sex life, too? Not surprisingly, it is.

Here’s why:

  1. Endurance. If you’re not a minute man, making it last requires stamina. As it turns out, doing cardiovascular exercises like swimming, jogging, running, biking and sprinting can improve your performance. Having sex is hard work - but having a strong cardio program should help you rise (pun intended) to the occasion.
  2. Flexibility. So long as you’re stretching after exercise, you should be able to make improvements to your flexibility. Yoga, if it’s part of your fitness program, is also helpful - the deep stretches will open a whole new world of positions for you and your lover.
  3. Strength. Let’s face it: Some positions require quite a bit of strength - and holding those positions for any amount of time can be difficult. Strength training - be it with machines or free weights - will improve your overall strength and make holding positions a little more effortless.
  4. Sexual function. Researchers have found that exercise lowers the risk of impotence and erectile dysfunction. Vigorous exercising, like running or sprinting, was proven most effective in the study. A separate study found that men who exercise regularly experience more frequent orgasms and greater sexual satisfaction.
  5. Testosterone. Though it’s still something of a debate, exercise increases testosterone levels - which may increase sexual appetite immediately following a workout. Intense exercise for long periods of time, however, may actually decrease testosterone.
  6. Self-esteem. Exercise helps people feel better about themselves and their body. This confidence can certainly translate to the bedroom; less time feeling self-conscious means more time enjoying the moment.
  7. Stress. Time and time again, research has demonstrated that exercise helps reduce stress. It means fewer distractions when you’re in the bedroom, and less time worrying about work and the myriad of other things going on in your life.
  8. Energy. A lot of fitness enthusiasts report dramatic increases in energy levels when participating in an exercise program. Energy that might might make instances of “not today, I’m too tired” farther and fewer between.

Bottom line: Exercise can translate to a better, more enjoyable and satisfying sex life. The results, obviously, will vary for each individual - but we probably all stand to gain from a comprehensive fitness program.

As if you really needed yet another reason to exercise?

Gym Tip for Gay Men: Don’t Sleep Where You Lift!

They say you shouldn’t shit where you eat, but I say you shouldn’t sleep where you lift.

A few years ago, I joined a gym while spending the summer in New York City. I was going into my senior year of university, and it took me a while to find a gym that didn’t break the bank. When I finally found it, I was delighted to discover that it was full of gays. One guy, in particular, tickled my fancy - a tall glass of dark and handsomeness named Helix. And so when we caught eyes, the rest was history.

I committed the cardinal gay gym sin: I slept where I lifted.

The only thing harder than finding a good man is finding a good gym. The search is long and hard (much like Helix!), and once you finally find a gym that works, it’s important to hold on to it. You wouldn’t want to risk spoiling a good thing, right?

What I didn’t consider is that I’d see that I’d see Helix the next day. And the next day. And just about every day thereafter for the 4 months that I lived in New York City. The encounter that Helix and I shared was great, but it wasn’t something that I wanted to repeat or continue. Luckily, it didn’t get complicated and Helix wasn’t overly persistent, but seeing him everyday did make things a bit awkward.

The bottom line is this: Don’t sleep where you lift. Save that for the internet.

What gym tips do you have for gay men? Share ’em with us in the comments below! I may feature some of my favorites.